


You Can Always Find Me In The Drift

by GoDownWithThisShip



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Feels, M/M, Sam-Centric, The Drift (Pacific Rim)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-07-24 21:21:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7523593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoDownWithThisShip/pseuds/GoDownWithThisShip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Pacific Rim AU</b> inspired by <a href="buckywilscn.tumblr.com">buckywilscn's</a> prompt: "Sam and Bucky just really hate each other (with all the cocky comments and pranks that happen in fanfics) but end up being drift compatible anyways"</p><p>Sam Wilson and Riley were one of the strongest Jaeger pilot teams in the world until a fateful fight in Alaska resulted in Riley's death and Sam's retirement. But, when the Kaiju problem becomes worse and the coastal walls just aren't holding up, Nick Fury (Director of the Jaeger program) approaches him and convinces him to get back into a Jaeger. Sam's old Jaeger has been restored, the only thing left is to find him a suitable co-pilot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the first part of this and I'm just really excited to share it with everyone so I went ahead and posted it without finishing the entire fic. I promise to stay with this and get it done ASAP!! I really hope I do this pairing and this idea justice!
> 
>  **AU info:** So, Sam is basically Raleigh in this whole scenario, but I'm not going to have the fic adhere strictly to the Pacific Rim story line (although this chapter is basically the first scene of the movie re-imagined with different characters).
> 
> [Here's the Jaeger Name Generator I used](http://jaegernamegenerator.tumblr.com/)

Sam awakes to the familiar sirens that seem to fill up the entire room and pierce into his skull. He rolls over onto his back and turns his head to find only rumpled sheets next to him. His half-closed eyes wander until they fall on Riley’s half dressed body struggling into a t-shirt. Riley notices him watching and grins as he pulls the shirt over his head. “Rise and shine!”

 

“What time is it?” Sam asks, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The cement floor is cool beneath his feet. 

 

“Almost three.” He can hear Riley’s dog tags clink as he moves around, getting ready.

 

“Shit,” Sam mumbles, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Why don’t we ever get Kaiju attacks during the day. A normal time. Like two in the afternoon.” He gets to his feet and makes his way across the cramped room to the bathroom. “Perfect time. We’d have eaten lunch, maybe taken a little afternoon nap.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” He can hear the smile in Riley’s voice. “Well you can tell it yourself once we get out there.”

 

“I’ll be too busy kicking its ass.” Sam closes the door. He quickly brushes his teeth and splashes water on his face. The fog of sleep is already starting to lift and once he steps back into the main room, he’s wide awake. It takes him only a few minutes to get dressed. While he laces up his boots he addresses Riley. “What are the details?”

 

“Category three.” Riley is grinning. “Biggest one yet.” Sam lets out a low whistle as he pulls the knot tight. There’s a knock at the door and an official voice on the other side lets them know the drop is set to happen in five minutes. Sam gets to his feet and Riley makes his way over to slide his arms around his waist. “Just another notch on the belt,” he says, grinning in a way that still manages to give Sam butterflies. “We’ll be back before the mess hall starts breakfast.”

 

“Don’t get cocky,” Sam says, but the warning tone he’s using is diluted by the smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. Riley leans in and he meets him halfway. The kiss is quick, sweet, and contains the emotions that are just a little bit too difficult to put into words. Riley pulls back and Sam has the urge to kiss every freckle that dots his cheeks and nose. He meets Riley’s eyes and he’s giving him that look. The look that makes the sirens and alarms seem so far away. Like Sam is the only thing in his world.

 

There’s another loud series of bangs at the door and Riley blinks, breaking the illusion. “Yeah, yeah! We’re coming,” he calls to the soldier on the other side of the door. The two of them slip into their matching leather jackets- Riley’s idea. The name of their Jager is stitched on the back to resemble the kind of logo they used to spray paint on planes during the second World War. Solar Zero.

 

Even though there’s no one in the halls at this time of night, the two of them still have a little swagger in their step. The kind that comes from walking away from every fight with a win. He and Riley had met in bootcamp. They didn’t know it then, but they were part of a group of elite individuals, recruited for the sole purpose of finding a pair of pilots. Turns out, Sam and Riley were the pilots they were looking for. Only, Sam had realized some time after he had accepted the position, the recruiters had never said ‘pilot’.

 

Riley is and has always been on the exact same wavelength as him. He had never believed people when they talked about finishing their partner’s sentences. Not until he and Riley started doing it. Sam had feelings for Riley long before the two were accepted into the Jaeger program. Those feelings were the kind you keep to yourself. He still recalls the first time he and Riley had experienced the drift together. He had gone into it worried about what Riley might find inside his head only to realize the same things were going through Riley’s. Their first kiss happened the minute they fell out of the drift. 

 

They stand in front of the sliding metal doors and Riley reaches out to squeeze his hand. He squeezes back and when the doors slide open with a hiss, their hands fall apart. Suiting up is Sam’s least favorite part because he’s buzzing with excitement and adrenaline but he’s forced to stand perfectly still while a team of guys slap armor on him. It reminds him of a pit crew working on a car. He’s basically drilled into the suit. He glances over and watches Riley’s sandy haired head disappear beneath the white helmet before he slips on his own. 

 

“Good morning, fellas.” Maria’s familiar voice fills the cockpit and Riley leans forward to press the broadcast button on the holographic control panel.

 

“Good morning, Miss Hill,” Riley replies, “How was the date last night?”

 

“Sharon loved me.” Sam can hear the smugness in her tone. “Her boyfriend? Not so much.”

 

“Better luck next time,” Sam says with a laugh.

 

All at once, the comms channel is taken over by a more authoritative voice. “Gentlemen, this is Director Fury. Are you ready to engage neural handshake?”

 

Riley and Sam both confirm. “Neural handshake engaging in fifteen seconds,” Maria’s voice replies. Sam barely registers her counting down and then all at once it feels like his mind is being pulled through the back of his head. The visions are hazy and most are in black and white. He watches a few of his own memories play out. There’s him sitting at the kitchen table with his mother, sharing a plate of chocolate chip cookies. She always made the best cookies. They had been soft and warm and when you’d split them in half, there would be strings of melted chocolate holding the two pieces together. He watches himself playing kickball in a schoolyard. This memory is a little more neutral and removed. He can’t remember when or where he is. He watches the first time he had met Riley play out. They shake hands, Sam remembers thinking his palm was rough. Riley’s smiling at him and his eyes crinkle at the corners. 

 

Then come Riley’s memories. There’s a father, dressed in full military formal dress. The man looks tough and almost devoid of emotion, but he watches as he pulls a teenage Riley into a tight hug.  _ He’s proud of me _ , he can feel Riley thinking.  _ I had just gotten accepted to college. Dropped out a year later and joined the military. He didn’t like that much _ . There’s a trivial memory of a young Riley ducking behind a hedge of rose bushes and looking down to find himself covered in ants.  _ They bit pretty bad _ . Finally, there’s an image of Sam with his back to him. The memory itself is bathed in bright light but Sam can make out the shoreline and instantly recognizes the moment. It’s from their most recent shoreleave to a quaint Maryland coastal town. As their neural connection settles, the memories fade to a fog, but Sam can make out Riley’s final thought.  _ God, I’m so in love with you. _

 

“Neural handshake complete.” Maria’s voice has taken on an official tone. “Prepare for drop.”

 

Sam braces himself as the floor beneath them falls out from under their feet. They’re falling and Sam’s stomach does a little flip before they land safely on Solar Zeros’ shoulders. The cargo hold doors slide open to reveal the downpour outside. Visibility is going to be a real pain in the ass tonight. “Neural handshake stable. Please calibrate, gentlemen.” Maria’s voice interrupts his thoughts.

 

“Right hemisphere, calibrating,” Riley says next to him as he lifts his right arm. The groan of machinery from outside tells Sam that Solar Zero is responding.

 

“Left hemisphere, calibrating,” Sam says, mirroring Riley’s motion. There’s a second mechanical groan from outside.

 

“Your objective-” Fury’s voice comes through clearly over the coms “-is to hold the Miracle Mile off Anchorage. Do you copy?”

 

“Loud and clear,” Sam replies. “But we’re picking up a civilian vessel-”

 

“I don’t need to remind you that two million lives are at risk.” Fury’s voice is filled with annoyance. “You are not going to put them in danger for a ship that holds ten. Am I clear?”

 

“Crystal,” Riley replies as he leans over to switch off the broadcast. “You know what I’m thinking?”

 

“I’m inside your head,” Sam says with a grin. “Let’s go fishing.”

 

They begin to trudge to the battle site. The lights fixed to the exterior of Solar Zero are barely cutting through the curtains of rain. The only noise is the grinding of large gears below them as Solar Zero’s legs follow the motion of theirs. Slowly, the jager becomes submerged in the icy water until only the top half is visible above the violent surf. Within minutes, they arrive on the scene. The fishing boat is just a speck of light in the darkness of the ocean. It’s pinned between the Kaiju and their Jaeger. Riley moves and Solar Zero scoops up the boat and clutches it to its side. Meanwhile, Sam draws back his fist and his body rolls forward with the punch.

 

Even in the horrible visibility conditions, he can see his punch land. The Kaiju stumbles backward. He can make out its face and the prominent, pointed snout. Like a knife. They use the momentum to send the ship skating back toward shore. They straighten up to face the monster and land another punch. Metal meets flesh with a dull thud. The Kaiju sinks into the waves and they lift their arms above their heads to bring their fists down on the crown of its head. “Yeah!” Riley exclaims. 

 

Suddenly, the Kaiju surges upward and takes Solar’s left arm in its jaws. The pointed teeth drag across the metal with a loud screech. “Come on!” Sam yells. There’s a phantom pain in his arm as though the monster is biting him as well. This is the only drawback to the neural system for him. He finds syncing up with Riley to be sweet at times and intimate. But, sharing that connection to the big metal giant feels raw and most of the time it hurts.

 

Riley lifts his hand and the screen reads the percentage of charge the plasma cannon has. It surges up from 75% to 100% and Riley sends a hot ball of plasma into the Kaiju’s abdomen. The monster falls backward and Riley lands another three shots before the automated voice inside the cabin tells him there is no charge left. One of Solar’s spotlights is fixed on the rippling water where the Kaiju is slowly disappearing into the depths.

 

Riley reaches out to reestablish the communication’s broadcast. Fury’s voice comes through at once. “What the hell is going on out there!”

 

“Objective complete,” Riley replies.

 

“You disobeyed a direct order!” 

 

“Respectfully, sir,” Sam jumps in, “We saved everyone onboard the civilian vessel and successfully bagged our fifth victory.”

 

“I’d call that a success.” Sam turns to find Riley grinning at him. He can’t help but smile in response.

 

“We’ll talk when you get back here.”

 

Suddenly, Maria’s voice jumps in. She sounds frantic. “Kaiju signature rising! It’s still alive!”

 

“Grab the boat and get out of there!” Fury shouts.

 

The spotlights flick across the surface of the water. “I don’t see anything!” Riley’s voice is loud and laced with panic. “The sensors aren’t picking up anything either-”

 

Everything happens at once. Something slams into their and they’re knocked forward a couple of steps. The unmistakable roar of the Kaiju outside is muffled by the thick metal hull. “Shit!” Riley hisses as he prepares the plasma cannon for another round. Before he can lift his hand, the Kaiju has it in one of it’s arms. The next minute he’s yelling out in agony and there’s a pain that echoes in the drift. The disconnected arm falls into the sea and produces a tidal wave in its wake. 

 

The Kaiju is much more aggressive now and it concentrates its attacks on the Jaeger’s torso rather than its limbs. The ugly knife-like head slices into the body cavity and there’s an explosion somewhere below Sam’s feet. “What is going on?” Fury’s voice joins the chaos.

 

A sharp tooth juts into the hull only a few feet from where Riley is standing. “There’s been a breach in the hull!” Riley reports. There’s a loud noise like metal running through a meat grinder and the hull is filled with frigid coastal air. Sam watches as Riley is ripped through the giant hole in the side of Solar Zero’s head and a horrified scream is pulled from his lungs. The rain falls through the gaping hole in the hull and splatters against Sam’s helmet. There’s nothing but agony coming through the drift and the chill of fear and then all at once it is quiet.

 

The Kaiju continues to land blows on the Jaeger’s body and the noise shocks Sam to attention. He starts to power up the plasma cannon, ignoring the excruciating pain. The monster slams against him continuously and he falls back against a glacier bobbing in the sea. He tries to aim the cannon but the monster is on top of him. Its shrieks are deafening. It takes everything he’s got to lift his arm and once the automated voice tells him the cannon’s fully charged he sends a blast right into the creature’s sternum. The bright light blinds him for a split second and the creatures looks up at him with glowing blue eyes as it falls backward into the surf.

  
He doesn’t remember anything after that, but later he’ll find out that he managed to drag the Jaeger back to shore. Alone. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **First of all, thank you so much for all the positivity and nice comments surrounding this fic!! I really, really appreciate the loving and the support!! I'm going to try my very best to make this fic live up to everyone's expectations!!**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> So, I didn't want to white wash the story because it is really important that Pacific Rim's story takes place in Hong Kong & features Chinese Jaeger pilots. I'm not super familiar with the comics, so I took to the Marvel wiki and picked out 3 Chinese characters who were born in China. ([Lian Tang](http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Lian_Tang_\(Earth-616\)) [Nuwa](http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Nuwa_\(Earth-616\)) [Xiaoyi](http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Xiaoyi_\(Earth-616\))). Now, I haven't read the comics they're featured in, but from reading their wiki pages they seem like they are Good. Like, the instances where they make decisions that would make them seem like villains their motivations are selfless. So yeah, Good candidates for the Jaeger program!!

**Five Years Later | "Wall of Life" - Sitka, Alaska:**

Sam shows up to the worksite wearing a thick coat over two layers of clothes. His boots are heavy against the pavement as he passes the sign at the edge of the construction site. The expected date of completion has come and gone and the wall is still very much unfinished. The men in charge of building the walls around the land bordering the Pacific promised safety. The wall is indestructible. The Jaeger program is obsolete. Something about it doesn’t sit right with him. He’s seen Kaiju up close and personal, something the suits can’t claim for themselves. He knows how powerful those monsters are. He’s seen what they can do. Somehow he doubts that a bunch of reinforced concrete is going to keep out a two thousand ton beast.

 

He slips on his yellow hard hat as he gets closer to the site. Some of the guys nod in his direction and he nods back. A sign posted out front reminds everyone exactly what they’re working for. It promises 75 rations for workers at the bottom of the wall, 150 rations for those working the middle, and 300 rations for the guys at the top. Honestly, that’s mostly the reason Sam’s here. There’s not a lot of other places that are hiring, not since the economy took a hard nosedive into the ground. He’ll take his rations where he can get them.

 

The men are already gathered around the site manager who proclaims that he has both good news and bad news. “What’s the bad news?” someone in the crowd yells.

 

“Bad news is three men died on top of the wall yesterday.” He doesn’t sound mournful. Sadness tugs at Sam’s heart and he glances around the crowd as if to identify who they had lost. “The good news,” the man presses on, “Is that I have three openings. Top of the wall.”

 

Sam doesn’t volunteer. He knows for a fact there are guys here who need it more than him. Guys with families and sick relatives. He’s just got to feed himself. Also, there’s a part of him, a tiny sliver, that is not willing to die for this wall. Or anything he doesn’t believe in for that matter. When the shifts are assigned, the crowd disperses. He makes his way over to the makeshift lift and rides it up to the middle of the wall. The rest of the afternoon finds him welding steel beams into place while the chilled air whips around him. The work itself isn’t too difficult, but that’s the biggest problem with it. His mind wanders so easily when it isn’t being challenged. He always assumed that retirement from the Jaeger program would mean something entirely different.

 

For one thing, he had always imagined it would mean the Kaiju had been defeated. No more monsters dragging themselves out of the salty depths. He’d live somewhere peaceful, by the water. Riley would be there too. Just the two of them. Maybe a dog. Riley had mentioned he’d always wanted a dog. Sam blinks back stinging tears.

 

There’s a break for lunch. Sam indulges in a peanut butter sandwich, the cheapest meal rations can buy. The bread is dry and feels like sand in his throat when he swallows. Then, it’s more of the same. The progress is slow, but Sam prefers it that way sometimes. He’s tired of chasing jobs on the wall. Tired of moving from place to place. It’s an empty life. A lonely life.

 

When it’s time to go, Sam dumps his equipment off and is about to head on home when snippets of a television broadcast catch his attention. A couple of guys are crowded around the tv hanging up on the wall near the break area, staring intently. The reporter is in the middle of recounting another Kaiju attack, this time in Sydney. The visuals show the monster trampling through the wall. It crumbles away in front of him like it’s made of wet sand and not reinforced concrete. “Why the hell are we even building this thing?” One of the workers shouts.

 

He shakes his head and turns to leave when a noise that is out of place amongst the welding and machinery catches his attention. He makes his way to the door, following the noise and spots a chopper that swoops down and settles in the empty courtyard between the build site and the shacks they call employee on-site housing. The blades are still whirring to a stop when the door opens and a familiar face appears. “Director Fury!” Sam calls, emerging from the building to meet him. “Good to see you.”

 

Fury just nods at him. “Is there someplace we can talk?”

  
“Sure.” Sam jerks his head in the direction he came and Fury takes the cue to follow him. They find an empty corner, away from listening ears.

 

Fury is the first to speak. “I need to get right to the point. Time is of the essence.” Sam nods and he continues. “I have spent the past six months trying to bring together the last remaining Jaegers and pilots. Now, I’ve got a certain Jaeger in my possession, older, Mark 3. You may know it.” He steps in closer and lowers his voice. “She needs a pilot.”

 

“I’m guessing I wasn’t your first choice,” Sam counters.

 

“Of course you were my first choice,” Fury raises an eyebrow. “All the other Mark 3 pilots are dead.”

 

“Look.” Sam shakes his head and suddenly he can’t meet Fury’s gaze. He fixes his eyes on the distant sparks flying off a welder’s blowtorch. “I can’t have someone else inside my head again.” It feels like someone is squeezing his heart in their fist. “I’m done.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “You know- I was still...connected. To Riley. When he died.” The addition is an explanation. A necessary one. He starts to walk away because he can’t talk about this any more. Tears are stinging at his eyes again and his throat burns as though he’s swallowed fire. “I can’t go through that again. I’m sorry.”

 

“Haven’t you heard, Wilson?” Fury’s raised voice forces him to turn around. “The world’s ending. So where would you rather die? Huh? Here? Or in a _Jaeger_?”

 

He pauses for a moment. Because the answer is so painfully obvious. He’s not going to die for something he doesn’t believe in. And he has never believed in this wall.

 

* * *

 

It’s raining by the time they finally reach the base in Hong Kong. It took a very long plane ride followed by a shorter helicopter ride, but he’s finally here. The landing platform is crowded and bustling. Men run this way and that and shout to each other. Their words are half lost in the storm that whips across the tarmac.

 

He follows Fury to the personnel entrance, the two of them moving at a jog. He has to use his free hand to hold the strap of his duffle bag up on his shoulder. Once inside, a shout from behind him forces him to turn around. He watches as two men bolt toward the entrance. One pushes a large glass container, the size of a coffin, filled with...God what is that? He holds one of the doors open and the men slip inside followed by a third man, dressed in uniform, and pushing another one of the glass containers. He gets a good look at whatever is inside and his stomach lurches. It looks like some sort of...organ. And it’s moving.

 

They all step into a service elevator that is big enough to hold everyone plus the tanks of mystery organs. “These are the heads of our research division. Doctor Stark and Doctor Banner.” Sam reaches out to shake hands and the shorter of the two accepts the handshake.

 

“Bruce Banner.” His grip is firm and he looks at Sam with glittering eyes. “I know you! Sam Wilson, right? You-you’re one of the last remaining Mark 3 pilots!”

 

Sam hasn’t been recognized in a while and he’s caught off guard for a moment. “The only remaining Mark 3 pilot, I’ve been told.”

 

“Wow!” He looks starstruck. “So, you’ve went toe to toe with some of the biggest Kaiju we’ve ever encountered!”

 

“You’ll have to excuse Bruce,” the other scientist chimes in. “He’s a little bit of a Kaiju groupie.”

 

Bruce flinches. “I’m not a groupie- I think that the Kaiju are...fascinating. At least worthy of study.”

 

“They’re big, ugly monsters that spring out of a crack in the bottom of the ocean.” Tony rolls his eyes. “That’s about all you need to know.”

 

The elevator lurches to a halt and the doors squeak open. The two scientists stumble out, followed by the specimens. Sam is able to catch a bit of their conversation as they move down the long hallway. “That’s just scratching the surface. Did you know that they all have _identical_ DNA?”

 

“Fascinating.”

 

The door squeaks shut and they continue down. “I think you’d like to see your old Jaeger again,” Fury says. There’s the ghost of a smile pulling at his lips. “Then, I’ll have someone show you to your room.”

 

“Thanks,” Sam mumbles. He feels a little nervous and he’s not sure why. He hasn’t seen Solar Zero since Alaska all those years ago...

 

The elevator jerks to a halt once more and he follows Nick out into the hallway. The walls are made of thick metal with bolts and in some cases wiring visible. There are signs painted at certain intervals on the walls that point the viewer toward specific landmarks. Sam can make out and understand some of the characters. Enough to get around. They step through a pair of heavy double doors into the hangar. There’s utter chaos as people run this way and that. His eyes are drawn to so many different things like the large clock on the wall. Some type of countdown. Except the time is increasing. “What’s that?”

 

“Measures the time since the last attack. Keeps everyone focused,” Fury explains from behind him. Sam watches as the seconds click forward with a growing feeling of dread. A supply truck screeches to a halt behind him and the driver beeps once. He apologizes and steps out of the way, hikes his bag further up his shoulder, and jogs to catch up to Fury.

 

“We’ve got the oldest Mark 1 in the world. The only Mark 1, if my sources are correct. Aurora Strike. Piloted by one Natasha Romanoff and her co-pilot Jessica Drew. They’ve been holding down the Russian coastline for nearly a decade now.” Fury gestures toward an upper floor Sam spots the two pilots in question. They’re sitting at the edge of the platform just above the Jaeger. One of them- the dark haired one- sits with her legs crossed and the other- a red head- sits with her legs dangling over the edge and her body leaning up against the safety rails. He decides right then and there that she must not fear death.

 

“There’s Phantom Tempest. Mark 4. Operated by using the Thundercloud Formation.” Fury gestures to another Jaeger in passing. Sam is immediately struck by the presence of three arms and he lets out a low whistle. Drifting with one other person is a challenge. There are so many moving parts and even though the pilots share consciousness, it can be difficult to keep both people’s thoughts on track. He can only imagine the control and discipline required to have three pilots. “Piloted by China’s best, Lian Tang, Xiaoyi, and Nuwa. All received perfect simulator scores. They’ve protected the port of Hong Kong seven times.” Sam spots the women a couple of yards away from their Jaeger, engaging in an intense game of basketball.

 

“One of the newer Jaegers and the very first Mark 5 ever built,” Fury gestures up to another Jaeger standing dormant against the wall. “Tango Rogue. One of the newer crews from the US. They used to cover California up to southern Oregon, but since...Alaska, they’ve been in charge of the whole coast. Piloted by the Maximoff twins. You’ll never find a team so in sync.” The two pilots in question are bent over a data pad and seemingly engrossed in conversation. Their sharp features are their only similarity. The woman’s hair is thick, dark and curly while the man’s hair is white and slicked back. Sam vaguely wonders if he dyes it that way.

 

Fury has already started moving on and Sam ducks past workers rushing in every direction to catch up. “And this is the infamous Nebula Runner. The newest Jaeger in the fleet. Mark 5. 50 diesel engines per muscle strand. A real beauty. She’s the one that saved Sydney during the most recent attack.”

 

“Aye!” A bright voice rises above the crowd and Sam’s gaze follows it until he notices two individuals approaching them. The guy is tall, probably well over six feet. His blonde hair is long and pulled back from his face. The woman is taller than average, but next to him, she looks absolutely tiny. Her black hair is pulled back into a ponytail and she wears a confident smirk. “We were not even meant to be in the city! I had a flight set for that evening.” He throws his head back and laughs. “I was ready to retire.” Sam isn’t a linguistics expert but this guy doesn’t sound Australian.

 

“Good thing you didn’t.” Fury’s tone is even, but he’s smiling just a little. He turns to Sam. “Sam Wilson, these are Nebula Runner’s pilots. Codenames: Thor and Sif.”

 

“Man, if I knew we could have codenames.” Sam laughs as he shakes Thor’s hand. Something in the way Sif is looking at him throws him off guard. A few moments ago she looked welcoming enough, but now she’s glaring at him. Her confident smirk has been twisted into a scowl.

 

She doesn’t reach to shake his hand and so he doesn’t offer it. Sam can’t think of a reason for her sudden coldness and Nick must pick up on the tension because he speaks quickly. “Let’s go get a look at the restored Solar Zero. Shall we?”

 

Sam nods to Thor and Sif. “Nice to meet you.”

 

“Same to you!” Thor claps him on the shoulder as they pass. They wind through the crowd and Sam tries not to lose himself in the bustle. Once they reach the far side of the hangar, Solar Zero comes into view and he suddenly doesn’t know how to feel. Part of him feels warm, like he’s glowing. The other part of him feels frigid and empty. After all these years she looks exactly as she had on that morning in Alaska. She is still surrounded by scaffolding and about half a dozen men are working on the final touches. Sparks rain down from where their blow torches meet her metal skin, illuminating her in a flickering orange and yellow glow.

 

His throat is dry as he opens his mouth to speak. “You guys did a hell of a job.”

 

“Solid Iron hull. No Alloys. We were considering upgrading her to a digital energy core, but we decided to keep the analog Arc-9 Reactor. Had a hell of a time trying to dig one up,” Fury explains.

 

“You even got the details right,” Sam says, his eyes fixing on the logo spray painted onto Solar Zero’s chest. The same logo that had been sewed into the leather jacket he used to wear with pride.

 

One of the guys working on her looks down and spots Sam and Nick gawking up at the Jaeger. The mechanic flips up his welding visor and calls down, “This the pilot?”

 

Sam blinks and nods. “Yeah. I’m the pilot,” he calls back up. It feels weird to say it in present tense.

 

“Do us a favor and try not to completely wreck her again!” He flips his visor back down and goes back to work.

 

Sam cringes and Fury speaks to him in a lowered voice. “Don’t mind Barnes. He’s a real pain in my ass, but he’s one of the best mechanics we’ve got.”

 

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” A familiar voice from behind them makes Sam whirl around and grin. Maria Hill stands with a data pad in one hand and the other hand on her hip. She grins back and they exchange a tight hug. “Good to see you again.”

 

“Miss Hill,” Fury addresses Maria directly. “Would you kindly show Mr. Wilson to his quarters? And fill him in on the plan. I’m running a little behind schedule.”

 

“Got it.” Maria nods to Sam and they make their way back to the entrance of the hangar. Once they’re in the more quiet hallway Maria speaks again. “First thing tomorrow, you’re going to have your trials. After analyzing your fight patterns, I’ve lined up some candidates I think you’ll work well with.”

 

“What if I’m not...compatible with any of them?” Sam asks, unable to mask the worry in his tone.

 

They reach the service elevator and Maria presses the down button. “Don’t worry. You just have to have a ninety percent compatibility rating for this to work. But, it probably won’t be like drifting with... _him_.” The thought brings up a feeling that chills his insides. “You can’t take everything into the drift. You’ll have to learn to leave some of it behind. The...painful stuff.”

 

“I got it,” Sam mumbles and he watches the floor as the elevator doors slide open and they step inside. He sighs, “So what’s the plan. I mean...once everything is settled.”

 

“Well,” Maria begins, looking down at her data pad and scrolling through it with her finger. “Our science division has been working on predicting when Kaiju attacks will occur.”

 

“You can do that?”

 

“I guess so. Apparently one guy extrapolated or something that the attacks are becoming more and more frequent. And if the pattern continues, we’re going to be faced with our first double incident.”

 

“Where does Solar Zero come in?” Sam watches the numbers slide across the monitor above the elevator buttons.

 

“We want you on defense,” Maria explains. “The coasts are going to be vulnerable because we’re sending everything we’ve got at the breach. Including a bomb powerful enough to wipe it from the ocean floor. And if our guy’s predictions are correct you’re going to have your hands full.”

 

“You know, it might be more-”

 

“I know what you’re going to say,” Maria cuts him off and shakes her head. “Nebula Runner is the fastest Jaeger in the service. The perfect back to strap our little bomb to. Aurora Strike may look like a regular rust bucket, but she is the perfect tank for this mission. And, Phantom Tempest is the best backup that we could have hoped for. I’m sure you’ve heard the stories about what she can do during a fight. We’re still debating on whether to send Tango Rogue out there, but as it stands we may need all the help we can get. Now, that leaves China’s coastline- and our base- pretty defenseless. We need Solar Zero here.”

 

“I get it.” And he really means it. A lot is riding on this mission and he knows Fury isn’t going to take a chance by throwing a guy who’s been out of comission for years out into the fight. Especially with a partner he’s never drifted with before. The elevator dings and the doors slide open and the two of them step into a hallway that looks like every other hallway in this base. Their footsteps echo dully against the gray, metal walls. Maria stops in front of one of the doors. Sam makes a note of where it is in regards to the elevator because he knows first hand how easy it is to get lost in a place like this.

 

“It’s really good to see you again,” Maria says, putting a hand on his shoulder and offering him a set of keys.

 

“It’s good to be back,” he says, although there is little feeling to back his words up.

 

“See you bright and early tomorrow,” Maria says as she makes her way back to the elevator. Sam presses the key into the lock and turns it. There’s a metallic clink and he swings the metal door open with a groan. He steps inside and shuts the door and his stomach twists as he realizes his new room looks almost exactly like the room he had used to live in. Back in Alaska.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Fun Facts:** I chose to make Nat/Jess drift compatible because I saw [a screenshot](http://66.media.tumblr.com/712adb5bb8cd1e3438758b376c03ef5d/tumblr_o90mn8RHzi1v43oc7o1_500.jpg) of a panel where they were in the middle of a fight & they were finishing each other's sentences.
> 
> Also, side note, Wanda & Pietro are 100% meant to be Romani & Jewish in this work. I do not support the MCU's whitewashing of their characters, thank you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would personally like to thank summer vacation & my unemployed status. Because of that I have a butt ton of free time to write out this fic (I got everything outlined you guys dw theres no way I'm going to abandon/take 5 months to update)!!
> 
> I don't have the specific post on hand & I can't find it on my blog, but Sam/Bucky shenanigans are heavily inspired by the beautiful minds on tumblr dot com. 
> 
> Also,  
>  **Me when I started this fic:** I love the enemies to friends to lovers trope sososo much!! I love it!! I want to write it so bad!!  
>  VS  
>  **Me Now:** Please...do not fight...do not be mean to each other...stop that!! Just be nice!! hUG it OUT!!

Sam awakens the next morning to an alarm. He sits upright and it takes him a few moments to realize it’s just his bedside digital clock making the noise. After letting out a long breath, he leans over to turn it off. The room is swallowed by the sudden silence. He sits there with his legs still covered by the sheets and feeling overcome with exhaustion. Finally, he pulls himself out of bed and starts to get ready.

 

He set his alarm for four-forty five and it only takes him ten minutes to get ready, but when he opens the door to his room he finds he’s not the only one in the halls. There are a handful of workers making their way to the elevator and he follows behind them. They converse brightly in Cantonese and Sam catches a couple of words. Breakfast. Eggs. His stomach grumbles under his cotton tshirt. Everyone crowds into the elevator and it lurches up. When the doors slide open again, Sam follows the same crowd to the mess hall.

 

He is surprised to find the room is already packed. The low rumble of conversation carries through the air. He heads off to the hot food line and there’s more eggs and meat sitting underneath the warming lamps than he’s seen in the past month. He quickly grabs a metal tray and starts to pile up a reasonable amount of food. There’s the ever present thought in the back of his head that he can’t quite shake,  _ don’t waste anything. Make sure there’s enough for tomorrow.  _ It’s a silly thought in the situation but it is born of a world where supply is low and demand is high.

 

After filling a tin cup with some coffee and doctoring it up, he steps back into the full chaos of the dining hall. It shouldn’t be surprising that everyone’s already up and ready, but he is still struck by the sheer number of people present. And the profound lack of seating. Everyone is crammed, side-by-side at the long tables. He meanders down a few rows, dodging curious eyes before he spots a lone empty seat at the end of one of the tables. He makes his way over and addresses the people seated around it. “Is someone sitting here?”

 

“Yeah.” A dry, familiar voice answers. The same voice that had taunted him about “wrecking” his Jaeger. Barnes is sitting a couple seats down at the edge of the group. His dark hair is long and pulled into a loose bun at the back of his head. There are dark circles under his tired, blue eyes. Now that he’s seeing him up close, Sam finds himself thinking the man might have the potential to be considered handsome, if he wasn’t wearing such a sour expression.

 

“He’s screwing with you,” the older gentleman sitting next to the empty seat interjects. “Take a seat.”

 

“Thanks,” Sam addresses the friendly stranger before shooting a look at Barnes. His expression doesn’t change. Of all the people in this base, he had to end up sitting near the guy who he has already decided he doesn’t like. He is content to sit and eat quietly while the group discusses their own business. It’s mechanic stuff. They talk about the repairs that need to be made and the supplies that need to be ordered. 

 

All of a sudden, their easy pattern of conversation is interrupted. “Can someone pass me the ketchup?” It’s the asshole speaking. Sam ignores him, after all his buddies have arms. One of them reaches out and out of the corner of his eye Sam follows the movement. Instead of sliding the bottle toward the asshole-  _ Barnes,  _ his brain fills in, but honestly he could care less- the woman slides it away. The bottle stops in front of Sam and he looks up at it. He then glances across the table at her and she just winks at him. “Seriously?” Barnes addresses her before turning his eyes to Sam. He doesn’t say a word, just holds out his hand.

 

It is early and Sam is feeling a little bit cranky and he doesn’t like this guy’s attitude at all. Plus, he recalls the first words this guy ever even said to him were a taunt. He motions toward the bottle in front of him in a  _ You mean you want this?  _ sort of way. Barnes looks like it’s taking every ounce of self control to remain completely neutral in this situation. He nods stiffly. Sam reaches out and slides it further away until it rests at the edge of the table. Barnes’ friends erupt in a chorus of  _ Oooh!s  _ and chuckles and he just rolls his eyes. “What are we, twelve?” Barnes mutters before he gets to his feet and leans over one of the mechanics to snatch up the bottle.

 

There’s a little clink when his fingers meet the glass and Sam realizes the hand jutting out from beneath the sleeve of his jumpsuit is made of metal. Barnes quickly whips his hand back when he notices Sam’s eyes and takes a seat. He doesn’t look up from his food. Sam wants to apologize even though the whole thing feels juvenile when one of the mechanics speaks, “What are you doing up so early? You’re one of the pilots...right? I would think they’d let you sleep in on your day off.”

 

“Yeah,” Sam says before taking a quick sip of coffee. The slightly bitter liquid burns his tongue a bit, but he hasn’t had  _ real  _ coffee in a long time. “I have some stuff I need to get done before I can get back into the service,” he explains vaguely.

 

The woman interjects, “So, you’re the new guy, huh. There’s a rumor going around that you still need a copilot. Everyone’s been talking about it.” Sam suddenly feels a little uncomfortable with the knowledge that people were gossiping about him around the base. “Man, what I wouldn’t do to get my ass in a Jaeger.”

 

Sam shakes his head. “It’s not all punching monsters in the face and glory, you know.”

 

At this point, Barnes gets to his feet, but no one else but Sam seems to notice. He strolls off down the aisle with his half-eaten tray of food held out in front of him. When Sam directs his attention back to the group, the woman is smiling at him. “I recognize your face from some of the news stories, but I’m sorry, I can’t remember your name.”

 

“Sam Wilson,” he offers with a smile over the top of his coffee cup.

 

She practically beams at him. “I’m Jan.” She places a hand on the shoulder of the man sitting next to her. “This is Hank.” She gestures across the table to the older man sitting next to Sam. “And that’s Erik.”

 

“Enough about us,” Erik jumps in. “I want to hear about the fights! You must have had some good ones. I mean, it took us almost a year fixing up your Jaeger! How did you wreck her like that? That had to have been one good fight.”

 

Sam is suddenly not hungry. Jan makes a little noise at the back of her throat and shoots Erik a look that just screams  _ shut the fuck up _ . A few moments of awkward silence pass before Hank changes the subject. It’s something mechanics related, which allows him to gracefully exit the conversation. He prods his eggs and meat a little bit while the mechanics chatter. After willing himself into eating a quarter of his helping, he gets to his feet. “It was nice meeting you guys.”

 

He gets a “Nice meeting you, too!” and “You too!” and even a “Good luck today!” in response. He makes his way to the exit and guiltily dumps his food into one of the industrial sized trash cans at the door. There’s a table with a stack of trays on it right next to the trash and he carefully stacks his tray on top of it.

 

* * *

 

After the third sparring match, he regrets not having more to eat at breakfast. His palms are sweaty around the wooden sparring stick and he’s starting to feel a little queasy. He easily takes down each opponent while Director Fury and Maria Hill look on. Maria seems to be taking notes on her data pad. He knocks his opponent’s feet out from under them and they tumble into the dark colored mat. “Alright. We’ve seen enough. Next?” Maria’s voice interrupts them.

 

His opponent gets up and they quickly bow to each other before a new opponent steps from the line at the side of the mat to challenge him. He catches movement in the mirrors that stretch ceiling-to-floor on the far wall. He turns his head ever so slightly to watch a couple familiar faces and some he’s never seen before file into room. They hover around the exit. Fury clears his throat, “Don’t some of you have work to be doing?”

 

“Union says we get a fifteen minute break every couple of hours.” Sam recognizes Barnes’ voice and almost rolls his eyes at the defiant tone.

 

Fury looks like he’s going to reply, but then seems to decide that micromanaging mechanics is beneath him. He turns his attention back to the sparring match in front of him. “Well? Get on with it.”

 

Even though he’s not feeling his best, he’s still schooling every person that steps out into the ring to challenge him. It’s all wrong. If they had been drift compatible, the fight itself would be more of a dance. Each person would be so in sync that no winner or loser would arise. Each attempt at victory would be met with a well placed defense and each attack would be swiftly countered. 

 

When there are no longer any candidates lined up, Sam glances over at the place where Maria and Fury are comparing notes. “I thought you said I was going to be pleased with your selection.”

 

Maria chuckles and shakes her head without looking up from her data pad. “There were some promising candidates from this group.”

 

He’s about to protest, because none of those candidates were even close to being drift compatible with him. But- “This group?” he asks with a raised brow. “As in, there’s more?”

 

“Take a break for lunch,” Fury says, making his way for the door. “We’ll start again at thirteen hundred hours. On the dot.”

 

“Yes, sir,” Sam replies. His hand finds the stitch in his side and he gently massages it as he makes his way over to Maria. “I’m telling you, none of these people were a match.”

 

“You had a score of ninety or higher with a few of them-”

 

“I don’t care about a score,” Sam cuts her off, “If I’m going out there, it has to be with someone who I’m one hundred percent compatible with. There can’t be any room for error.”

 

Her eyes are suddenly full of sympathy and she nods once. “Don’t worry. We’ll find you someone.”

 

* * *

 

He sits alone at lunch but Jan and Hank stop by his table to congratulate him on that morning’s performance. He just smiles back and thanks them. The afternoon session progresses just like the morning session just without the audience. Fury leaves just before Sam finishes his last round. After he bows to his opponent, he immediately addresses Maria. “How do those  _ percentages  _ look?” 

 

“Better than expected,” she replies before turning on her heel and making her way to the door. “See you after dinner.”

 

* * *

 

Sam is exhausted by the time he reaches the mess hall. The crowd feels too dense and the noise too loud. He serves himself a dinner of meatloaf, spaghetti, and some mixed vegetables before turning and heading out the door. He carries his tray through the halls, ignoring the curious glances he gets. The hangar is not too far from the mess hall and he ducks inside and climbs a metal staircase just off the side of the entrance to the second level. He passes the Russian Jaeger and the spot where her pilots were sitting in the previous day. He follows the pathway as it wraps around the hangar and finally comes to a stop when he reaches Solar Zero. 

 

He takes a seat about a foot back from the safety rails and crosses his legs. He balances his tray in his lap and digs in. The atmosphere inside the hangar isn’t quite still enough to be unnerving but not nearly as busy as the mess hall. There’s the sound of bolts being drilled into place and sometimes there’s the whine of metal against metal. The food is delightful and much more appetizing than what he’s used to. It doesn’t take him long to get through a good portion of his meal.

 

He scoots closer to the edge so that he’s just behind the railing and can get a better look at his Jaeger. He spots a lone mechanic who appears to be spraying a fresh coat of paint onto Solar’s dull blue exterior. The guy isn’t facing him, but Sam thinks he recognizes the back of that head. He cups a hand around his mouth to shout, “You missed a spot!”

 

Sure enough, the guy turns around and even with the ventilator mask on, Sam can tell it  _ is  _ Barnes. He can’t quite make out the minute features of Barnes’ face but he can read the middle finger that’s flashed at him loud and clear. “What the hell are you doing here?” he yells back. His voice is somewhat muffled by the mask.

 

“The dining hall’s too crowded. Wanted to make sure my Jaeger’s doing alright. What’s your excuse?”

 

To Sam’s surprise, Barnes doesn’t shoot him a scathing reply. “Got orders to finish this by the end of the day. I’m just picking up the slack.”

 

Sam isn’t sure what to say and Barnes goes back to what he’s doing. After finishing off what’s left of his dinner, Sam gets to his feet and slips away.

 

* * *

 

The evening session is halfway over when Sam notices a single individual watching from the entrance to the room. Barnes’ mouth is pulled into a tight line as he watches Sam flip his opponent onto the mat with a dull thud. Sam tries not to break his concentration, but he can’t help but wonder why Barnes is even here when his friends are clearly somewhere else.  _ Who knows what that guy’s thinking _ . He’s forced backwards a few paces when his opponent suddenly charges him, but he counters easily and ends up winning the round.

 

As soon as it has begun, the session ends, and Sam can’t help but feel panicked. He  _ knows  _ what drift compatible feels like and he is  _ not  _ feeling it with any of these people. He wants to tell Maria but all she will do is try to assure him with percentages and promises of better candidates. But, the clock is ticking and lives are depending on him and he can’t afford another loss. He can’t deal with another loss.

 

He finds himself scanning the room for Barnes, but he’s nowhere to be found.

 

* * *

 

Long, hot showers are a luxury he has not been able to enjoy in a very long time. He stands under the near-scalding spray and lets the water roll over his sore muscles. He can’t remember having a more physically intense day. His shoulders especially are full of painful knots. When he gets out of the shower, the bathroom is covered in a heavy cloak of steam. He uses his hand to wipe a clear stripe through the moisture on the small mirror above the sink. His reflection looks tired. After brushing his teeth, he makes his way out of the bathroom. He changes into fresh clothes and looks around the barren room. It just has the essentials. Bed. Chair. Desk. It reminds him of a college dorm room, but more dungeon-like.

 

He decides the room is much too claustrophobic for his liking and he opens the front door. The orange overhead lights from the hallway spill in and mix with the white fluorescent light of his room. He can hear voices echoing somewhere down the hall and he decides he likes the reminder that he isn’t alone. The blank walls give the room the feeling of a cell and he digs through his dufflebag to produce a thick stack of photographs, tied together with a few pieces of string. The one on top of the pile shows him and Riley. They’re wearing army fatigues and smiling ear to ear. He recognizes it as the first day of bootcamp.

 

He settles himself on the floor, sitting cross-legged and unties the strings and starts to flip through the images. There are a couple of his mom with her soft eyes and radiant smile. Another shows him the day he got the notice that he’d been accepted into the Jaeger program. A few with him and some friends back in Alaska. He wonders if they’re alright. 

 

There’s a soft jingling from outside, followed by the sound of metal dropping on metal, and immediately followed by a melody of very creative swearing. Sam leans over from where he’s sitting to spy an unfortunately familiar face stooped down outside the room across the way. Looks like Barnes dropped his keys and they managed to fall in between the stairs leading up to his room. He’s digging around for them, his arm shoved between two of the steps up to his shoulder. “You need any help, neighbor?” Sam calls.

 

Barnes angles his head to glare at him. “I’m not  _ completely  _ fucking helpless, you know.”

 

“Coulda fooled me.” He pauses for a moment before he adds, more to satisfy his own curiosity than anything else, “Why were you watching the trials tonight?”

 

Barnes rolls his eyes, “Because we don’t get cable down here.” He produces his keys and gets to his feet. He raises his hand with his keys pinched between his thumb and forefinger. He jingles them in Sam’s direction before turning around, unlocking his door, and disappearing.

 

* * *

 

The next day’s trials are even more tiresome. Each candidate seems more ill equipped to drift with him than the last. Finally, as the day comes to a close, he lags behind to stretch his aching muscles. It feels as though every single one is permanently stuck in contract mode. Maria bids him a quiet goodbye and leaves the gym with her eyes glued to her data pad. While sitting down, he kicks his legs out in front of him and stretches his fingers toward his toes. He looks up and catches his reflection in the mirror. He realizes with a jolt that he’s not alone. Barnes is there, almost hidden in the shadows at the far side of the room.

 

“Can I help you?” Sam asks, meeting his gaze through the mirror.

 

“Why do you hold back? When you fight, I mean.” Barnes’ voice is even.

 

Sam turns to face him. “How long have you been standing there? How much have you seen?”

 

“Enough. Enough to know you’re not putting in a hundred percent.”

 

Sam rolls his eyes. “I’m giving this more than a hundred percent. What makes you think I’m not?”

 

“You could have won- ended the fight, at least two moves earlier. Almost every single time.”

 

“What do you know?” Sam doesn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but it’s been a long day and Barnes is the last person he wants to talk to right now.

 

“Enough.”

 

Sam pushes himself to his feet and crosses his arms over his chest. “Look. I don’t know what your issue is-”

 

“My issue,” Barnes practically seethes, “Is that there are so many pilots out there that haven’t gotten a chance to prove themselves. To protect their homes and their families. But the program isn’t interested in giving them a chance. No, they’re more focused on reeling in  _ has-beens _ . This is all just a waste of time.”

 

The mild annoyance building up inside Sam turns white hot. His fists clench at his sides. It’s like this guy is psychic. Like he knows every single button to press with him. “Since it’s obvious you know  _ so much,  _ how about you step into the ring and teach me something.” Sam is almost shocked by his own words because he’s normally not the fight-seeking type. But, he reminds himself that if anyone is looking for a fight in this situation, it’s Barnes. He’s just obliging him. Barnes steps forward and when he’s within range, Sam strikes first with a fist aimed at his face. Barnes easily uses his forearm to block. He retaliates with a blow meant for Sam’s stomach, but Sam is able to impede the blow. 

 

And so, they end up brawling. Sam is very much technique oriented but he finds that he has to tweak his moves a little bit because Barnes’ style is anything but traditional. There is an anger and frustration that fuel Sam’s every move that are not even necessarily related to Barnes. He thinks he can sense the same thing happening with the other man. They continue on, striking at each other, dipping out of the way of more brutal hits, and smoothly countering thrown punches. It’s almost frustrating that he can’t seem to land a decent blow on the guy. But, he realizes, Barnes hasn’t been able to really get a good hit either. Then, it all clicks as he’s flipping Barnes over and pinning him to the mat. It squeaks under their combined weight. Barnes is about to use his weight to flip them over when Sam speaks, “Do you feel that?”

 

Barnes freezes. “What?”

 

“I can’t believe it…”

 

Barnes rolls those clear blue eyes and grits out, “I thought we were in the middle of a fight. You know, normally there’s not a whole lot of talking that should be happening-”

 

“Are you physically not able to shut up for  _ one _ second?” Barnes flips them over so that he’s the one pressing Sam into the mat, but the fight is already over. “We’re compatible.”

 

“Yeah, not really the word I’d use.” Barnes breathes heavily and looks at Sam through an expression of confusion mixed with agitation.

 

“Listen.” Sam exhales. He’s having a little difficulty getting the words out with Barnes’ weight crushing him. “You watched some of the trials yourself. None of those candidates were right.” Barnes recoils and topples backward so that he’s sitting on the mat in front of Sam. Sam sits up on his elbows to look at him but Barnes’ eyes are fixed on the mat. For once he’s quiet. Of course the guy learns to shut up once Sam needs him to say something. “Look,” he says in a quiet, and hopefully calm voice, “As wild as it sounds...I think we’re drift compatible.”

 

Barnes snaps to his feet and shakes his head. “Whatever, man,” he mutters and makes his way to the door. Sam is left to sit there and soak in his confusion. How is it that out of all the people in this Goddamn base, he has to be drift compatible with the one guy he can’t stand. _That asshole isn’t even a pilot!_

 

* * *

 

Sam wakes up the next morning to his backup alarm. His intended alarm had apparently gone off for long enough that it automatically timed out. He rushes to get ready and hurries out the door. The first day of trials had taught him that he can’t skip breakfast. The halls are already full of people heading off to their stations and when he reaches the mess hall, he struggles against a heavy flow of people filing out. 

 

He drops by the hot food line and snags a couple of stray slices of toast and fills up a tin cup with coffee. There are more than a few seats open and he takes a spot at the end of a mostly vacant table. He plops down into one and starts working on his light breakfast.

 

“Heya, Sam!” A familiar voice makes him look up from his coffee. He spots Jan grinning at him and splitting off from the crowd of workers headed off to the exit. Hank and Erik follow close behind. Sam notes that Barnes is nowhere to be seen. “How are you doing?”

 

He nods and gives her a little smile. “Can’t complain.”

 

“How are co-pilot tryouts going?” Hank asks from behind Jan.

 

“They’re going,” Sam replies with a little laugh. But, he remembers his encounter with Barnes the previous night and blurts out, “Can I ask you guys something?”

 

“Of course,” Jan replies.

 

“You’re...friends with Barnes, right?”

 

Jan chuckles, “Sure. You could say that.”

 

Sam takes a deep breath, “What is his deal?”

 

She grimaces. “You’ll have to be a little more specific. The guy has got a lot of deals.”

 

Sam isn’t quite sure where to even begin. There’s more than a few things about Barnes that annoy him. “He’s just always talking about stuff he doesn’t understand. Like, I wouldn’t come up to you guys and try to tell you how to replace a Jaeger’s reactor or something. But, he acts like he  _ knows  _ about pilot stuff. It’s just...irritating, I guess.”

 

Erik is the one to speak, “I heard a rumor actually-”

 

“Oh, here we go.” Hank says quietly with an unamused expression on his face.

 

Erik scowls at him, but continues. “I heard a rumor that he was actually training to be a pilot.”

 

“Then why the hell is he working on restoring old Jaegers?”

 

“It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if he made up that rumor himself,” Hank interjects and Sam feels oddly relieved that he’s not the only one who can’t stand Barnes.

 

Erik sighs and addresses Sam. “That is something you’d have to ask him for yourself.” Sam decides that he does  _ not  _ want to have that conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized after getting comments that the way that the last chapter had ended made it seem like i was going to pull that trope where the guy shows up with 0 experience and knowledge about a certain subject/field and for whatever reason is just ~good~ at it. Like I assure you that is **not** what I'm trying to do with Bucky here!
> 
> I was going to reply to some of the comments abt it, but I didn't/don't want to spoil anything for anyone. But the reason I didn't want to have Bucky be one of the ~candidates~ right off the bat is 1) That would make this fic like...5,000 words shorter & I need all the words I can get to flesh out their relationship 2) I hope it's a little more interesting this way? Idk in the upcoming chapters there's going to be some exposè into his past and why he's a mechanic now and not piloting Jaegers pls bear with me!


	4. Chapter 4

Probably the most frustrating part of figuring out he’s drift compatible with Barnes is the fact that now every sparring match between him and a potential candidate feels even more disjointed and...wrong. The morning’s matches go by quickly and he approaches Maria afterward. “Can’t wait to see what else you have to throw at me,” he says casually.

 

She looks up from her data pad and gives him a little smile. “Actually, that was the last group.” Sam’s stomach flips. “We’re going to have to run the data through our algorithm so it is going to take a little time to figure out who the best candidate is going to be. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off. The past couple of days can’t have been easy on you.”

 

A wave of concern washes over Sam and he shakes his head, “I’m telling you Maria, none of them felt right.”

 

“I hate to say it-” and her tone of voice really makes it seem like she does, “-but beggars can’t be choosers. Trust me, you’re going to be fine. These guys are all trained and you have enough experience to work with someone even if they aren’t one hundred percent compatible with you.”

 

“What if there was someone who is a hundred percent compatible with me?” Sam really hopes he doesn’t sound desperate.

 

“Well, I’m sure they’re out there somewhere,” Maria replies thoughtfully, “But you’ve met every potential match. I assure you. Like I said, we analyzed your fight patterns and tried to find someone that would work well with you.”

 

“What if they don’t have a fight pattern that’s like mine?” Sam asks. “What if the way they fight is more of a … compliment to mine? Like they’re bringing something new to the table.”

 

Maria’s delicate demeanor evaporates. “It sounds like you have someone in mind.” Sam pauses before shaking his head. He can’t run into this without knowing all the information first. Maria already has one hundred and one excuses for the way this process is running and he doubts Fury is going to take his word over hers. Maria’s demeanor lightens back up, “Don’t worry, Sam. It’s all going to work out.”

 

* * *

 

Sam considers taking Maria’s advice and relaxing for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he is overcome with an unshakable feeling of dread. Each second that ticks by brings them closer to another Kaiju attack and at the moment there is little he can do to help. He spends some time considering what would happen if he just accepted Maria’s mantra. What if he just accepts a copilot that he’s ninety-something percent compatible with? It might work, but he can’t shake the lingering idea that he and Riley had been as compatible as it gets and their last mission still went down in flames. What would the casualties have been if they had been anything less than one hundred percent compatible? His mind flashes back to clunky fights charged with so little energy he thinks he could have pulled them off in his sleep. And then there is the one fight that felt absolutely right. He decides that he needs to talk to Barnes.

 

The only trouble is that Barnes is illusive. Sam’s attempts to track him down have turned up less than nothing and he finds himself wondering how the hell a guy can hide in a place like this. He isn’t at meals and he isn’t in the hangar when Sam swings by. 

 

So, the evening finds Sam hanging up photographs in his quarters because he needs to keep his hands busy. He uses a roll of electrical tape he managed to snag from Jan earlier that day. Soon, the wall boasts a bunch of familiar, smiling faces and he feels just a little bit better. He hears movement in the hall and he cranes his neck to get a look outside. Sure enough, his surly neighbor is standing across the way and fumbling with his keys. “Hey,” Sam calls out to him and makes his way to the door. He leans against the frame, hoping he looks more casual than he’s feeling.

 

Barnes doesn’t turn around. “What do you want?” He sounds more tired than anything else.

 

“I was talking to a couple of your pals and one of them mentioned you used to be a pilot.” Sam holds his breath. Because he honestly has no idea what to expect.

 

He wasn’t expecting Barnes to laugh. It’s quiet and a little too hollow. “Well, that  _ pal  _ would only be half right.” He turns around to look at Sam. His expression is unreadable. “I went through the training, sure. But, I never got certified.”

 

Sam exhales and he feels his chest swell with hope. “Why not?”

 

Barnes rolls his eyes, “What? Are you planning on writing my memoirs now or something?”

 

Sam decides to try a different tactic. “What’s your simulator score?” 

 

“Forty two drops. Forty one kills.” The words hang in the air as a couple of workers rush past, throwing the two of them worried looks. Sam realizes it must look odd from the outside. Two guys having a conversation across a hallway. Neither of them looking too happy. Once the strangers are out of their line of conversation Sam opens his mouth to speak but Barnes speaks first. “Before you ask, the one miss was because I thought it would be fun to mix a hangover and a simulator session.” He shakes his head. “Never again.”

 

Sam actually laughs at this. An actual genuine laugh. Barnes looks almost as surprised as Sam feels. They just look at each other for a moment. “I dunno if you’ve heard, but I still need a copilot.” Sam’s voice is even.

 

Barnes looks at him as though he’s suggested something outlandish. “No thanks.”

 

Sam shakes his head and tries to keep his cool. “Look, we don’t have to be friends. Hell, we don’t even have to get along outside the Jaeger. But from what you’re telling me, you’re as good of a candidate as any.”

 

Barnes turns to face his door and works at slipping his key into the lock. “Yeah, nobody’s gonna go for that. And if you don’t mind, I’ve dealt with enough rejection from these people. My pride can’t deal with any more.” The lock clicks and he throws the door open.

 

“This is  _ bigger  _ than your pride!” Sam manages to call after him before the door slams shut.

 

* * *

 

An alarm rips Sam from his sleep and he realizes with a jolt that it’s not the one he set last night. This alarm is louder and fills the entire room. Over the blaring noise an automated voice calmly announces:  _ All teams to the operation’s bridge. All teams to the operation’s bridge. Prepare for event. _ The message repeats in Cantonese as Sam leaps from his bed and quickly gets dressed. There’s already people in the hall when he opens the door. Everyone is running toward the elevators and shouting to one another. He follows silently and realizes that there’s nothing he can do once he gets to the bridge.

 

The doors squeak open and everyone rushes in, packing the elevator until the people inside are pressed shoulder-to-shoulder. Without a co-pliot he’s grounded. But, he needs to know what’s happening. The elevator jolts to a halt and he follows the crowd to the bridge. Everyone files into the large room that overlooks the hangar. There are computers with holographic displays lining the walls. Sam hangs back near the door and watches as Fury debriefs everyone. “There is no need for panic, right now.” His voice carries through the room and all eyes are fixed on him. “We are dealing with a category four. Nothing we haven’t seen before. We are going to send out Tango Rogue. I have full confidence the Maximoffs are going to make this quick. Just to be safe, Aurora Strike and Phantom Tempest, be on alert.”

 

“What of Nebula Runner?” Sam turns to see it’s Sif speaking

 

“You are our absolute last line of defense. We can’t risk anything happening to you or to the Jaeger,” Fury explains. She nods once and Fury continues, “Alright everyone! You know what to do!” 

 

All at once, everyone is moving again and Sam presses his back against the wall to get out of the way. Once the room is less crowded, he spots Maria seated at one of the work stations and he makes his way over. “What are the details?” he asks, leaning up against the desk and watching the monitor in front of her. It shows Tango Rogue formed in thin air by thin red lines. There are various readings including the life signs of the pilots. 

 

“It’s still technically a Category 4 but, this is one of the biggest Kaiju we’ve ever seen,” Maria replies. “But that’s not really a shock at this point. It feels like they’re just getting bigger by the day. God, what I wouldn’t do for a Category 2.”

 

“Those were the days,” Sam says causing Maria to chuckle. 

 

“It’s already got a codename: Angler. She rolls her chair over to the empty station next to her and begins typing. A second later the display jumps to life, displaying what Sam recognizes as the tarmac. Maria glances over her shoulder before addressing him quietly. “We’ve equipped one of the choppers with video surveillance to give us eyes out there.”

 

Sam moves to stand in front of the monitor. He watches as the helicopter begins to rise from the ground, expanding the view to include part of the ocean. “Tango Rogue, begin calibration.” Maria speaks from next to him.

 

“Right hemisphere calibrating.” The woman’s voice says over the coms. Sam watches the monitor as the calibration completes without a hitch.

 

“Looking good, Wanda” Maria says, following the progress with her eyes.

 

“Left hemisphere,” the other twin says. 

 

“Perfect.” Maria presses a few buttons on the screen. “Neural handshake complete and stable. Prepare for drop.”

 

Sam returns his attention to the screen in front of him to track the helicopter’s progress. For now, the only thing in sight are the dark rolling waves on the surface of the ocean. The helicopter’s search light barely cuts through the darkness. “Tango Rogue, on the move.” A few moments later, Tango Rogue appears in the helicopter’s surveillance. Sam watches as the Jaeger makes its way through the water as though it’s moving through molasses.

 

“You’re coming up on the Kaiju’s signature. Do you have a visual?” Maria asks, frowning at the screen in front of her.

 

“So far nothing,” the guy’s voice responds.

 

“Okay, but keep your eyes open, Pietro. It’s coming up on your left side.”

 

“Nothing out there but water.” A few moments of silence pass before he speaks again, “Hold on. There’s a light out there.”

 

“Approach with caution.” Maria angles her head to get a look at the monitor in front of Sam. Sure enough, about a hundred yards in front of the Jaeger, an eerie blue light shines from the depths. 

 

“We are going to engage,” Wanda says. 

 

Sam can’t help but frown because something isn’t right. “Where is the Kaiju signature?”

 

“Hundred yards to the left.” Maria selects an icon from the screen and a map blows up showing the ocean and the monster’s location relative to the Jaeger’s.

 

“Plasmacaster charging.” Wanda’s voice announces through the comms. 

 

Sam glances between the video feed in front of him and the transparent map. Something isn’t sitting well with him. He points to the light in front of the Jaeger and points to the Kaiju’s mark on the map. “This isn’t matching up.” Maria follows his finger, a frown pulling at the corners of her mouth.

 

“That’s not the Kaiju.” Fury’s voice makes Sam jump.

 

“Tango Rogue, hold your fire,” Maria says urgently, but it’s too late. Sam watches as Tango Rogue sends blast after blast into the water The surface ripples around each blast and for a split second, the water is illuminated. 

 

When the Plasmacaster is empty, the water becomes dark once more. The eerie blue light that had been lingering beneath the surface is gone. “That wasn’t so hard.” There’s a cocky quality to Pietro’s voice.

 

“I am still receiving Kaiju life signs, be on the lookout.” Maria’s voice is calm, but Sam can see the panic in her wide eyes. 

 

Sam’s eyes dart back to the screen in front of him and he watches in horror as the creature bursts from the dark waters next to the Jaeger. The thing has to be at least 200 feet long. It’s forehead is bulbous and its glowing blue eyes are sunk into its skull. The creature has a massive underbite and rows upon rows of spiky teeth. It opens its jaw to take Tango’s left arm into its mouth. “Urgh!” There’s a grunt over the coms.

 

Tango pivots, sending a wave out in front of it and uses its right hand to land a couple of punches into the side of the Kaiju’s head. The monster catches Tango’s fist in one of its claw-like hands. Sam notices the creature has two sets of arms as it uses its free hands to grip at Tango’s back. The claws leave ragged marks in the metal. “Missiles engaging!” Wanda says.

 

The Jaeger’s posture becomes more rigid and Sam can’t see where the missiles are, but a second later there’s a bright orange flash and the Kaiju stumbles backward. Its chest has been ripped open and a glowing blue liquid seeps from the hole. It throws its head back and even though there isn’t any audio, Sam can imagine its ferocious cry. As it slumps forward, little spots of blue light erupt across its back. Its spine illuminates in that same glowing blue color all the way up to its skull. As the Kaiju’s spine alights, Sam notices the appendage extending from its head and realizes how the monster got its nickname. There is a lure sprouting from its forehead, completely alight now. 

 

It suddenly lunges forward, tackling Tango into the water. As Tango becomes submerged beneath the waves, the monster begins landing blows with each of its arms. “Tango! Talk to me! What’s going on?” Maria’s voice betrays the panic written across her face.

 

“Send in Phantom Tempest!” Fury yells from behind them.

 

Suddenly, there are pulses of bright light from beneath the water. Each come into contact with the creature’s throat and chest. All at once, the lights on the creature’s back go out and it collapses into the surf. “Kaiju signatures gone, sir,” Maria addresses Fury, her voice is back to normal. “Another confirmed kill.”

 

“Cancel my order!” Fury, addresses the other people in the room. “Phantom Tempest stays put. But, we need a rescue chopper out there!”

 

* * *

 

Pietro and Wanda are welcomed back with cheers and pats on the back. Sam watches from the corner of the hangar and he claps along with the crowd. The two of them are dazed and lean on each other for support. Maria moves in to part the seas to let them through. They need medical attention. Wanda is bleeding from the crown of her head. The blood is apparent on her neck and the red is a striking contrast to the white of her suit. Her brother limps while they walk and his face is twisted into an expression of pain. It’s a miracle they were able to be fished from the water.

 

He is so busy watching them get swept from the room, he doesn’t notice the man walking over to stand next to him. “Got a minute?” He is a little startled to find Barnes standing there with his hands buried into the pockets of his dark blue jumpsuit. Sam isn’t sure if it’s his imagination, but Barnes doesn’t look as sour as he normally does. There’s an expression on his face that Sam isn’t quite sure how to read. Part of him thinks it might be guilt. He just nods in reply. 

 

Barnes takes a deep breath and suddenly he’s looking everywhere except Sam’s face. “I just wanted to say that-” Another deep breath. He begins again in a quieter voice. “-You were right.”

 

Sam’s eyes widen in surprise. “I’m sorry. What was that?” He’s suddenly delighted.

 

“Oh come on, don’t make me regret this.” Barnes rolls his eyes. “Look.” He shakes his head. “I realize I was being a hypocrite. Saying that fresh pilots deserve a shot and then refusing to take that shot when it’s offered to me.”

 

“Good start,” Sam says with a nod. “But you were also being a whole lot of other things besides a hypocrite.”

 

He snorts. “Yeah, well. Whatever. That’s just me sometimes. And like you said, we don’t have to even like each other outside the Jaeger.”

 

“What makes you think I still want you to be my copilot?” Sam asks, the ghost of a smile at his lips.

 

“Who else is gonna put up with you?” Barnes smirks.

 

“I’ll have you know, I am a delight.” Sam feigns offense, “If anyone is putting up with someone, it’s me putting up with you!”

 

“Whatever you say.”

 

“Now you’re getting it.”

 

They end up grinning at each other.

 

* * *

 

“No.” Fury’s office is surprisingly quiet in comparison to the noisy hallway outside. He sits behind his desk in a comfortable rolling office chair and looks at Barnes’ profile on the holographic screen in front of him. 

 

“I have also attached a detailed review of their compatibility,” Maria explains. Fury pulls up the review which is really just some notes with some complicated looking equations and a few different charts. It gives Sam a headache. He and Barnes are sitting, silently stone faced, in front of Fury’s desk. Sam grips the arm of his chair and he can feel his palm sweating around it. “I compared the various aspects of their compatibility with those of the top three potential candidates. No one else comes close.” It’s a wonder Maria was able to whip those facts and figures up so quickly. Only a few hours ago, he and Barnes had approached her and asked if she would consider one more candidate. With a little bit of coaxing, Maria watched the two of them spar. Sam could tell from the look on her face that even without the complex algorithms, she knew they were the real deal. 

 

Fury frowns at the charts before he pulls up Barnes’ profile once more. “Says here, you didn’t get the certification.” Barnes exhales and nods once. “Doesn’t say why.”

 

Barnes doesn’t hesitate. When he speaks it sounds almost rehearsed. “I finished the training pretty recently. Just as the wall was starting to go up and the Jaeger program started making big cuts. Only a few of the guys from my class got certified and accepted as pilots and the rest either got hired for something else or got sent back to whatever the hell they were doing before that.” He stops speaking before he quickly tacks on a “sir” to the end of his statement.

 

“So you’ve never actually drifted with someone before,” Fury clarifies.

 

“No, sir.”

 

“With all due respect sir,” Sam begins, “There isn’t any harm in trying a test run. If it doesn’t work, there are always other options.”

 

Everyone is quiet for a few moments as Fury looks between the two of them. Nothing in his expression betrays what is going on in his head. “I need time to consider this. I will have Maria contact you when we’ve reached our decision.”

 

“Thank you, sir.” Sam says at once, getting to his feet. 

 

Barnes mirrors his action with a mumbled “Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

Sam can’t stand to be cooped up in his room right now, so he opens his door with the intention of sitting on the steps outside when he finds that Barnes apparently had the same idea. He’s sitting across the way with one knee pulled close to his chest and the other thrown out in front of him. He looks up when Sam takes a seat. The two of them are silent for a moment, just watching each other as a group of people passes between them. Then, Barnes speaks. “Thanks.”

 

“For what?” Sam asks.

 

Barnes shrugs his shoulders a little. “I dunno getting me a chance to finally be a pilot even though we’ve been-” He sighs. “-enemies or whatever since day one.”

 

“I wouldn’t say we were enemies,” Sam replies with a grin. Barnes’ expression brightens a little. “I’d say we were more like arch nemeses.”

 

When Barnes laughs it sounds full and genuine. “Yeah. Whatever.”

 

Another silence descends on them as more people pass between them in the hall. When it’s finally clear, Sam speaks. “What made you change your mind?”

 

Barnes looks down at the floor. “Guess it finally sunk in. You know, how screwed we are.” He looks back up at Sam and must be able to read the confusion in his expression. “Back in the day Jaegers were taking down Kaiju no sweat. Sure, sometimes they lost. But I always thought that’s because the Jaeger was out of date or the pilots weren’t so hot. But, the Maximoffs are some of the best there are and Tango’s one of the newer ones we got. And they almost died out there. Because, the threat is bigger than ever and I guess I thought-” He shakes his head and looks around as if the words he needs to say are floating in the air around him. “-thought that it wouldn’t be a big deal if I sat this one out. But this is an ‘all hands on deck’ kind of train wreck. I get that now.”

 

The elevator door slides open at the end of the hall and Sam turns his head to watch Maria striding over to them. “Good news, gentlemen!”

 

Sam automatically gets to his feet. “Are you serious?”

 

She grins between him and Barnes. “You two are Solar Zero’s new pilots.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I hope you enjoyed my Kaiju OC son: Angler inspired by one of the more screwed up animals in the ocean, [the angler fish](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglerfish).
> 
> Again, thank you for all the love & support. I hope you're having as much fun reading this fic as I am writing it!
> 
> If you'd like to [chill with me on tumblr](http://theouterrimjob.tumblr.com) I have a butt ton of fandoms I'm into & I love talking about headcanons & stuff! If I have somehow tricked you into thinking I'm cool, be warned I'm a literal gremlin. Thank you.


	5. Chapter 5

Breakfast isn’t sitting too well in Sam’s stomach as he waits to get suited up. He tries not to think about how much is riding on this morning’s test run. It isn’t just about Barnes and how their compatibility will actually play out in the field. He hasn’t experienced a neural handshake in about five years now. Sure, he’s been told it’s like riding a bike. Something you can never forget how to do. The brain is like a muscle after all and so drifting is all just muscle memory. But, he can’t help feeling that today is going to gage whether or not he’s still got it. 

 

Stepping through the sliding doors into Solar’s hull is like walking through a portal in time. She looks exactly as she had five years ago. His eyes gloss over the control panel and the fixtures in the walls. They finally come to rest on his copilot who is trying to rope his hair back into an elastic. “Ready?” 

 

“As I’ll ever be.” Sam settles in his position and marvels at how subtly different the hull looks from this side. Barnes finishes tying his hair up and he exhales slowly. “Got any advice for a rookie?”

 

Sam snorts. Explaining the drift to someone who has never experienced it before is like trying to explain the color red to someone who has never seen. “Just let it all happen. Don’t get hung up on a memory, just let them all flow.”

 

Barnes doesn’t say anything and the two of them slip their helmets on. A few moments later, Maria’s voice speaks over the coms. “Solar Zero, ready for test run number one?”

 

Sam reaches forward to press the broadcast button on the holo-screen in front of him. “Ready.”

 

“Initiating neural handshake.”

 

His thoughts are wrenched backward through his own timeline. He is three years old, sitting in the living room on that floral print couch, and watching cartoons on tv. His mother is in the kitchen, the vague sound of running water echoes in the drift. The front door opens and his father appears, looking wary. Sam runs to the door to meet him and he’s pulled into a tight hug. Then suddenly, he’s standing in an alley he doesn’t recognize in a city he’s never been to. There’s a skinny blond kid no older than fifteen doubled over at his side and a beefy looking older kid in front of him. The kid in front of him opens his mouth to talk but his words are all jumbled up like alphabet soup. A teenage Barnes comes into Sam’s view. He lands a nice punch to the guy’s jaw. The guy stumbles backward and the memory dissipates.

 

The next memory is Sam’s. He’s sitting on his brand new bicycle and flying down a hill with a couple of his friends in tow. Their laughter echoes like a phantom in the drift. Sam still has that floating sensation of freedom when the memory fades into the next. He’s standing in front of a tall oak tree. He looks up and uses a hand to shield his eyes from the mid-afternoon sunlight. He spots a kid sitting on one of the lower branches. The kid’s dark hair is cropped short and his chubby face barely resembles the one of the man standing next to him. But, he knows it’s Barnes. He recognizes the other kid that appears from behind the trunk. He has the same blond hair and frail limbs as the kid from the alley. “How do I get up?” the kid’s voice echoes.

 

Barnes adjusts his position so he’s lying flat on the branch. One of his hands grips the bark tightly while he extends the other to his friend. The kid on the ground jumps for his hand. All at once, Barnes loses balance and the memory fades before he hits the ground. 

 

There’s a flurry of memories that rush by too quickly to catch the details of. Within them, Sam is able to pick out another of Barnes’. He’s an adult now, dressed in military garb and hugging that same skinny kid like he’s the only thing anchoring him to the earth. More confusing flashes and then he sees a face that nearly makes his heart stop. It’s just a flash but he recognizes those soft eyes and the spray of freckles across that slightly crooked nose. 

 

Then, all at once, he’s back in the Jaeger with Maria’s voice in his ear. “Neural handshake stable.” He can feel the low thrum of the Jaeger and the presence of Barnes on the outskirts of his own consciousness. “Calibrate when ready.”

 

“Right side,” Sam begins, lifting his arm in front of him and hearing the whine of Solar’s gears churning to mirror his action.

 

“Left side.” Barnes copies his action and the Jaeger mimics him. 

 

Sam turns to congratulate Barnes on the easy part but when he looks at him all he can see is Riley. His mind flashes back to Riley being ripped away. There’s a whole lot of hurt and he can almost hear the screams and the splatter of rain on his visor. A loud beeping from one of the monitors and Maria’s voice pull him back to the present. “I’m fine.” He’s out of breath. “I’m okay.”

 

“Right side stabilizing,” Maria says as though she’s reporting to someone else. “But the left is still way out of alignment.”

 

Sam turns to Barnes again and this time there aren’t any ghosts, just a clearly panicked copilot. “Barnes!” he says loudly, but the guy has that thousand mile stare. “Barnes! Come on, stay with me!” Sam tries to focus on the memory he’s getting stuck on. To somehow pull him back from the inside. He’s sitting in the back of a humvee and everyone around him is cracking jokes and laughing. Barnes is seated to his right, dressed in fatigues, but slumped casually in his seat. He catches up on the conversation in progress. “The two in category two stands for too small,” the guy in the passenger seat says.

 

“Oh really, cuz I thought it meant my two year old could beat it up,” the guy to Sam’s left says.

 

“Speaking of which, how’s the pilot program treating ya, Buck?” The driver turns slightly in his seat to shoot them a wide grin.

 

Sam is surprised when Barnes answers. “Yeah, yeah.” He rolls his eyes. “In just a matter of months I’ll be trading this cramped ride for a cramped ride with a view.”

 

They all laugh and the driver cuts them off quickly. “Approaching the site.”

 

“Fucking hell,” the guy in the passenger seat says loudly. “The shit back there is jammed  _ again _ .”

 

“Got it,” Barnes replies, throwing open the back door while the vehicle is still in motion and carefully climbing out. Sam scoots over to watch him scale the side of the humvee to where a set of missiles is set up for launch in the back.

 

“That’s enough, Barnes!” Sam calls to him. His voice is all but swallowed by the wind rushing by. “You need to let this memory go!”

 

But, Barnes is on a mission. Sam is practically hanging out of the humvee now. “Barnes! You need to let this go and come back to the real world!” There’s a loud roar from behind him and he whips around to see a Kaiju smashing its way down the street toward them. It has about a hundred ugly, blank, glowing eyes looking in every direction. It's approaching too fast. Collision eminent. He turns around to face Barnes again. “We need to go! Now!”

 

There’s yelling from inside the vehicle and even though he knows this isn’t real, Sam jumps to land painlessly on the asphalt. He watches as the humvee races toward the monster, Barnes visibly working on the anti-kaiju missiles on the back. There’s a deafening crash and Sam watches one of the Kaiju’s claws make contact with a building in front of it, sending deadly debris raining down onto the humvee. He watches as Barnes tumbles from the back of the the vehicle. This time, the pain of him hitting the road echoes loudly in the drift. 

 

Sam is on his feet and jogging over. There’s an explosion that is so loud it makes his ears ring. The vehicle is on fire and as he gets closer to Barnes he realizes with a sickening jolt that most of his left arm is missing. Barnes looks up at the monster with wide eyes as he struggles to drag himself across the pavement. His eyes fall on the humvee, now completely engulfed in flames and he lets out an inaudible cry. Sam falls to his knees next to Bucky’s distraught form. “This isn’t real. This isn’t happening right now. You have to let this all go.”

 

Suddenly he feels himself being ripped out of the drift and all at once he’s back in the hull of the Jaeger. His legs feel a little shaky but there’s the unmistakable silence that comes with being inside your own head. Alone. He rips his helmet off to find that Barnes has done the same. The hull is dark. The holo-screens have all gone out. “Are you okay?” Sam asks. There’s a thin sheen of sweat on Barnes’ face and he’s all but gasping for air. 

 

Barnes gives his head a little shake before tucking his helmet under his arm and turning for the door. The door hisses open and he disappears. This hadn’t been like Sam’s first time drifting. At all. As he leaves the cockpit, Maria rushes up to him looking concerned. “Not the best first shot," he says flatly.

 

“We’re lucky you guys didn’t destroy anything,” Maria replies without cracking a smile. “What the hell happened in there?”

 

“It was my fault,” Sam finds himself saying. “I fell out of alignment first.” He suddenly wants to be alone. He’s exhausted both mentally and physically. He makes his way toward the elevator. 

 

Maria follows at his side. “Yes, but you were able to regain control,” she points out. “Barnes was way out there. And if we hadn’t shut down Solar Zero’s power-”

 

“Everyone’s first time is a little rough.”

 

Maria exhales slowly. “The thing is, we don’t have the kind of time for Barnes to figure it out.” They reach the elevator and Sam jabs the down button. When it becomes clear that he’s not going to say anything, Maria continues. “I’m going to talk to Fury about it. I’ll let you know where we’re going from here.”

 

“Yeah.” The elevator doors slide open and Sam steps inside.

 

* * *

 

Sam spends the rest of the morning in his room with the door sealed shut. At some point he dozes off and wakes up to a firm knock on the door. He pauses before he sits up and gets to his feet. Before opening the door he peers through the peep-hole to find Barnes lingering on the second to the top step. Sam isn’t sure what to say to him. Today has been a lot. Before Sam has a chance to open the door, Barnes turns and makes his way down the stairs and disappears from view.

 

* * *

 

Sam is ready to sulk in his room for the rest of the day but around five thirty that evening his stomach rumbles loudly to remind him that he is a human being that needs to eat. He dresses quickly and slips into the hall. It feels like a hundred different sets of eyes are burning into him but he avoids everyone’s gaze. The mess hall is packed and he makes a beeline right for the food. As he piles his dinner onto his tray, he makes the mistake of looking up. Sif is standing next to him and although she’s slapping a slice of meat onto her plate, she’s not paying attention to it. Instead she’s watching him with a particularly sour expression.

 

Sam isn’t in the mood. “Can I help you?”

 

“This is not the place for mediocre pilots.” Her voice is even but it’s tinged with something that sounds like annoyance.

 

Sam theatrically glances over his shoulder, shakes his head, and looks back at her. “Great, because I don’t see any.”

 

Sif scoffs and shakes her head. “I watched your practice today. It is clear retirement has suited you well.”

 

Sam’s grip on his tray tightens. “It really chilled me out, I think you should try it sometime.”

 

Sif’s stony expression cracks and there is anger etched into her features. “You are nothing but a  _ has-been!  _ The Jaeger program got shut down because of pilots like you!”

 

“You wanna shut the fuck up?” Sam turns toward the voice to find Barnes standing out of line a couple feet back. The people between them look uncomfortable and try their best to stay out of the altercation. “Because you have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”

 

“Really, rookie?  _ I  _ have no idea what I’m talking about?”

 

At this point, a burly man in a white apron appears from the kitchen with a tray of fresh potatoes in his hands. He glowers at the three of them. “You want to fight,” he begins, slapping the tray down on the counter. “You don’t get to eat. Take it somewhere else.”

 

Barnes moves forward to nudge Sam with his elbow. “C’mon, let’s get outta here,” he mumbles.

 

The two of them turn in the other direction, trays in hand, and make their way to the door. Sam is grateful to leave the mess hall and the probing stares behind. The hallway outside is mostly deserted and the two of them make their way silently. They end up in the hangar, sitting in the same place Sam had been the other day, and watching the mechanic crew service Solar Zero. 

 

Barnes speaks first without looking up from his food. “Hey. What she said. It's not true.”

 

Sam snorts and spoons some vegetables into his mouth. He swallows before speaking. “I dunno, you’ve said some pretty similar shit.”

 

“Yeah, well.” Barnes pauses. “I was wrong.”

 

Sam wants very badly to gloat but he holds it back because he can recognize a moment when he sees one. Instead he chooses to address something that’s been at the back of his mind. “You know, that memory you’re hanging onto, none of that was your fault.”

 

Barnes lets out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, so they tell me.” He looks over at Sam for a moment. “I’m really sorry about…” He pauses and Sam knows exactly what he’s talking about.

 

“Riley,” he fills in.

 

“Yeah. I never knew-” He stops and takes a breath. “-I didn’t realize- I’m sorry.”

 

They’re quiet for a moment as they both peck at their food. “It hurt like hell. Losing him like that.” Sam needs to talk about it. He knows he has to talk about it. And unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of people who know how he feels.

 

“I know.” Barnes is looking at him again. Sam expects to find pity in his eyes, but instead there seems to be a genuine sadness. “I felt it too.” He reaches out, a bit unsurely, to clap Sam on the shoulder. 

 

Sam gives him a little smile. “You know what, Barnes. You’re alright.”

 

“Bucky,” Barnes says quickly as he lets his hand drop from Sam’s shoulder.

 

“Excuse me?” Sam replies even though he recognizes the nickname from the memories in the drift.

 

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Just, call me Bucky.”

 

“Your mother really sat down after carrying a child for nine months and decided to name him Bucky?”

 

Bucky laughs that real, genuine laugh. “Shut up. It’s a nickname.”

 

“How the hell did you get a nickname like that?” Sam presses on and a little flush creeps up on Bucky’s cheeks. When he doesn’t reply Sam’s smile grows. “Oh, so there’s a story to it?”

 

“What?” Bucky scoffs. “There’s no story.”

 

“How embarrassing? Scale of one to ten.” Sam has found one of his new favorite activities. Teasing Bucky. He tells himself it’s because the guy’s an asshole, but he also can’t deny that he likes hearing him laugh. And watching him get flustered.

 

“There’s no story,” Bucky repeats.

 

“So, pretty embarrassing, then.”

 

“It’s short for my middle name,” Bucky blurts out.

 

Sam’s expression brightens with realization. “Aah. Got it. So...what the hell is your middle name?”

 

Bucky looks back down at the tray in his lap. “Buchanan,” he grits through his teeth.

 

Sam throws his head back and laughs. “I’m sorry, what?”

 

“Yeah. I know.”

 

They talk for a little bit longer and Sam finds out Bucky’s originally from Brooklyn. He got stationed out in California when the whole Kaiju mess started happening. The way he talks about it makes Sam thinks he misses the city. Sam talks about his life before the military and how he finds himself missing the quiet life before hundred foot tall robots beating up hundred ton monsters became part of the mundane. 

 

When they’re all finished up and getting ready to leave, Bucky mentions a little nervously, “So, I don’t think I’ll be setting foot in a Jaeger again, huh?” He’s watching Solar Zero with a frown on his face.

 

Sam pats his shoulder and says with exaggerated sympathy, “At least you’re the world record holder for shortest career as a Jaeger pilot.”

 

Bucky laughs and lightly knocks his hand away. “Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends & welcome to the beginning of the ~friendship~ part of our journey
> 
> I'm so glad I don't have to write them being mean to each other anymore but I need for them to have more heart to hearts bc Sam is sad and he nEEDS HUGS AND LOVE!!! Honestly, I did not mean for this to be so sad & angsty in regards to Riley. I'm so sorry. I can't wait for the part of this story where Sam gets to be happy and safe and loved!!
> 
> Also, I started thinking abt young Bucky & Steve clowning around central park hence the ~falling out of tree~ memory.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, look which ass hole (me) decided to update!! It's been a real sad day, but I used my desire to keep myself busy and some newfound inspiration to finish up this chapter and get it posted. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! If there are any weird differences in the narrative or the details pls let me know bc I was too Lazy to go back and read through the old chapters to figure out what I had and hadn't talked about. Also apologies in advance for any mistakes it's like 1 am here lmao

The following days are shrouded in a thick blanket of anxiety. The steady clicking of the Doom’s Day clock is a steccato beat that keeps everyone’s nervous pace. Each passing second brings them closer to another event. And, if the rumors are true, there may be more than one monster crawling out of the steaming crack in the ocean floor.

 

The dread sits heavily on Sam’s shoulders but he finds an unexpected and comforting distraction in his new friend, Barnes.  _ Bucky _ , he has to correct himself. Thankfully he’s gotten over the initial giggles the nickname had brought him. They eat meals together. During their free time, they spar together. They’ve also assumed a strange ritual, where, whenever either of them are around the other’s room, they knock on the door, and continue on their way. A sort of playful game of ding-dong ditching where the goal is to aggravate the other person as much as possible. The crescendo to this game happens when Sam is walking with one of the techs, decides to pound on Bucky’s door, and as he’s hurrying away he hears Bucky’s voice echoing down the hall. “I see you asshole!” Sam turns around to find Bucky standing in the entryway to his room with a towel wrapped around his hips, his hair a wet mess atop his head, and a scowl on his face. Sam shrugs in response, but the image of Bucky, half naked, is hard to shake.

 

In the evenings, they sit together and just talk. It’s that weird sort of bond that forms when two people get inside each other’s heads. “I overheard some of the science guys talking,” Bucky says on one of these evenings. He’s sitting on the metal chair at Sam’s desk, balancing it on its back two legs, and resting his feet on the table’s surface. 

 

Sam is laid out on his bed and has half a mind to tell Bucky to get his feet down. Seriously, had the guy had been raised in a barn or something? But, he has a better idea and he keeps his mouth shut for the moment. Instead, he turns his attention back to the data pad glowing in his lap. “Yeah?” is all he says.

 

“Yeah. They were telling Fury they think there’s gonna be a category five coming up soon.”

 

Sam looks up again and frowns. “Seriously? How much bigger are those things gonna get?”

 

Bucky shrugs. “Hopefully we finish this before we have to find out.” He pauses for a moment before adding, “Have you talked to Fury at all?”

 

Sam shakes his head. “Nah.” He tries to sound casual, and if he had been speaking to anyone else it might have been successful. But, Bucky has been inside his head and unfortunately that gives him a certain insight that anyone else would not have.

 

“He’s just got a lot on his plate right now.” Bucky let his head roll back on his shoulders to address the ceiling. He’s trying to be reassuring, but Sam can see right through it. He’s also troubled by Fury’s sudden avoidance of them. “Probably has about a hundred other things to deal with.”

 

And, unfortunately, Sam now knows Bucky well enough to know that there’s something else bothering him. “You worried that he’s going to tell you that you’re not allowed inside a Jaeger again?” It’s a shot in the dark.

 

The shot hits Bucky in the chest. He exhales and shakes his head, fixing his eyes on Sam again. “Honestly, it was fun while it lasted. But, it turns out, being a Jaeger pilot’s a pipe dream after all.”

 

Sam sits up, letting the data pad slide off his lap and onto the mattress. He scoots to the edge of his bed so that he’s sitting just a foot from Bucky. “Hey. I didn’t think they’d put me in a Jaeger again. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be in a Jaeger again. But here I am. And if they’re throwing me in a Jaeger, you better believe I’m dragging you along.”

 

“Come on,” Bucky rolls his eyes. “They’ve got like twenty guys who can do the job.”

 

“True,” Sam says, slowly sliding his leg forward until his foot is directly under Bucky’s chair. “But, there’s only  _ one  _ ass hole I’m drift compatible with.”

 

“Aww, how swee-” Bucky chokes on his words as Sam nudges the chair legs floating off the ground. Bucky’s sent lurching backward and his hands whip out to grab anything to stabilize himself. At the same time Sam gets to his feet because he wanted to give the guy a scare not break his neck. One of Bucky’s flying hands finds Sam’s upper arm and Sam uses his free hand to grip Bucky’s shoulder. The chair’s front legs snap to the floor with a bang and Sam looks down at Bucky with wide eyes. He opens his mouth to apologize but Bucky bursts out laughing before he can say anything. 

 

Sam wasn’t expecting the reaction. “What?” He felt laughter bubbling up inside himself. It really is contagious. He’s acutely aware of Bucky’s hand stilling grasping his bicep and he hasn’t moved his hand yet. The proximity has him wanting to spring backward. 

 

But, Bucky looks up at him with those freakin’ clear blue eyes of his and Sam’s rooted to the floor. “It’s just-” Bucky struggles to stop laughing and catch his breath. “-Sorry. That feeling you get when you’re about to fall.” Bucky’s hand is practically burning a hole through Sam’s sleeve. Sam lets out a little laugh and his hand falls from Bucky’s shoulder. A second later and the hand on his arm is gone. There’s a moment of silence before Bucky clears his throat. “I should go. It’s getting late.”

 

“Right,” Sam says and steps back out of Bucky’s way. “See ya tomorrow.”

 

Bucky gives a wave over his shoulder and Sam closes the door after him.

* * *

Sam is ripped from sleep by the unmistakable blaring alarm. He practically leaps from his bed and gets dressed in under five minutes. He’s halfway out the door when he pauses because, again, he isn’t  _ really _ needed on the bridge right now. Yet again, he feels like he has little to offer in the situation. He hates the feeling.

 

A second later, the door across the hall bursts open and Bucky stumbles out into the harsh fluorescent light. Strands of Bucky’s hair stick up at odd angles and his shirt is half tucked into his pants. Sam tries not to notice. The two nod to each other and meet in the middle of the hall. “I couldn’t just-” Bucky begins, but Sam doesn’t need the explanation. He gets it. Bucky’s words are lost in the sudden commotion behind them as all necessary personnel make their way to the elevators. Sam and Bucky hang back as the first group ascends. 

 

“Doubt they’ll need us,” Sam says, his voice barely audible above the alarms. “But it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

 

The elevator returns and the doors slide open. Sam and Bucky manage to squeeze themselves inside. They’re squished side by side against the back wall and neither says anything as the floor jolts beneath them. When the doors slide open again and the space inside the elevator decompresses, Sam finds breathing to be a bit easier. He and Bucky make their way to the control room and Sam feels himself having major Deja Vu.

 

Everyone in the control room seems to be talking at once. People are crowded around holoscreens and Sam cranes his neck to get a look. A booming, authoritative voice stops him. “Alright! I need Aurora and Tempest going out full defense. Nebula, you’re staying back. Do not engage unless  _ absolutely  _ necessary.” Sam’s eyes found the two pilots. They nod in unison at Fury’s command. “I need everyone alert and focused. This is a real first for us.”

 

“Double event.” Bucky’s voice is low in Sam’s ear and he feels a jab to his ribs. He follows Bucky’s gaze to one of the nearby monitors. The two signatures are unmistakable. Both are category fours. He swallows hard as he recalls the destruction of the last event. 

 

“Alright let’s move!” Fury commands and all at once everyone is getting into place. Sam and Bucky flatten themselves up against the wall to allow people to pass in front of them. When everyone’s mostly situated, they catch Fury’s eye and he makes his way over. “Gentlemen.”

 

“Sir,” Sam replies. Bucky just nods.

 

“You are to stand by as an emergency back up.”

 

Bucky’s mouth falls open. “So, you think I’m good to get back in a Jaeger again?”

 

Fury shoots him a look and Bucky’s mouth snaps shut. “This isn’t about you.” He turns to face Sam. “There’s a reason I pulled you off that wall. You have accomplished things other pilots could never dream of. Do you know how many pilots have been able to control a Jaeger on their own.”

 

Sam is so taken aback that all he can do is shake his head.

 

“Two. Including you. Now, I’m trusting your judgement here. If you still think that Barnes is  _ your  _ copilot, I’m willing to trust you on that.”

 

Sam nods. “Yes, sir.”

 

Fury nods once and turns to make his way over to one of the stations.

 

* * *

 

The battle is gruesome. Sam and Bucky watch the events unfold on a monitor settled in a less busy corner of the room. He watches as one of the monsters wraps Aurora Strike into a crushing embrace, digging its claws across her back and peeling away her metal exterior. Aurora lands a series of punches to the creature’s side before it finally stumbles backward. All the time, the women’s voices shout over the comms. He recognizes the language as Russian, but he doesn’t know what they’re saying.

 

Meanwhile, Phantom Tempest works to take down the second monster. He watches as three metal arms whirl through the air. Sam can almost hear the loud  _ cracks  _ as the fists make contact with the Kaiju’s leathery body. The Jaeger moves quickly and for the most part she’s able to avoid being hit. 

 

Aurora isn’t having the same luck. The attacking Kaiju lifts a club-like arm and slams it into Aurora’s head, causing the Jaeger to stumble. There’s more Russian over the comms and to Sam’s ears it sounds frantic. The monster takes Aurora’s head between its gigantic, clawed hands and drags the Jaeger down into the crashing surf. Fury is hunched over one of the desks, pressing the broadcast button on the communication system. “Eject! You need to eject! Get out of there!”

 

The comms crackle out and Sam is left to watch the screen in front of him. An empty feeling grows in his chest. The Kaiju moves away from Aurora’s wreckage now burning beneath the surface. He didn’t know the pilots, but he is still overcome with the feeling of loss. All at once two anomalies surface and he leans forward. It is difficult to tell in the dark. It could just be wreckage. Or it could be escape pods.

 

“We’ve still got life signs,” Maria reports from her station. 

 

“Get a search and rescue team out there,” Fury orders.

 

Sam finds the emptiness replaced with blossoming hope. 

 

“Careful, Tempest, you’ve got Kaiju incoming at your nine o’clock.” Maria’s voice carries over to where they’re sitting and Sam watches as the Kaiju that destroyed Aurora makes its way over to Phantom Tempest. The Jaeger takes two steps back to bring both monsters into view. 

 

“You cannot expect one Jaeger to take on two Kaiju!” Sam recognizes Thor’s voice over the comms.

 

Maria answers. “Stay put, Nebula!”

 

“We are not going to stand here and watch our teammates get massacred!” Sif replies hotly.

 

“You will  _ stay put _ .” Maria’s voice is tense. Anyone with a shred of common sense knows not to push her like this. Sif stays quiet.

 

Sam watches as the two Kaiju manage to each grab one of Tempest’s arms leaving the third to land quick blows between the two. In a second, the monsters are stumbling back and the Jaeger’s arms detach. The sparks light up the scene for a split second and Sam can hear yelling over the comms. “You need to eject! Get out of there!” Maria shouts into the microphone in front of her. There’s shouting in response.

 

“We cannot stand by any longer!” Sif’s voice is barely audible over the shouting. “We are moving in.”

 

Maria’s normally cool exterior is almost panic stricken. She changes frequencies to address Nebula’s pilots. “Negative! Maintain your position!”

 

It’s too late. Sam watches as Nebula Runner makes its way into the fight. She’s fast, cutting through the water like a hot knife through a stick of butter. Nebula engages the chunky, club-handed Kaiju and Sam has to admit he’s impressed. 

 

It really seems like Nebula is going to finish off both Kaiju by herself when there’s a flash of bright blue light. All at once the room goes dark for a couple of seconds. When the lights come back on, they’re much dimmer, and Sam realizes there must have been a power outage. 

 

“What the hell was that?” Bucky’s looking around as if to find the answers on one of the other monitors. 

 

“I can’t get Nebula back on the coms!” Maria says frantically attempting to troubleshoot the system. “Tempest has gone silent too!”

 

“What the hell happened?” Fury looks to each of the morbid expressions in the room.

 

“It...appears to have been a blast of electromagnetic energy,” one of the techs from the other side of the room replies. “But we’ve never seen anything like that before.”

 

“Forget everything you think you know about these creatures,” Fury shouts. “We have to be prepared for anything.” He takes a deep breath before turning to Sam and Bucky. “Looks like you’re up.”

 

* * *

 

They weren’t even in the drift yet, but Sam could  _ feel  _ the worry rolling off Bucky in waves. He kept checking and rechecking the controls and monitors in front of him. “Hey,” Sam says, not really sure what he even wants to say to the guy. There aren’t any words that can make the first real fight any less terrifying. But, Bucky looks over at him with slightly widened blue eyes and he tries his best. “Keep flicking those switches and you’re gonna break something.”

 

Bucky lets out a snort. “Can’t break her worse than you did. I oughta know. It took months to put her back together right.”

 

“Shut the hell up,” Sam replies, but there’s no malice in his words and the two of them laugh quietly as voices over the comms recite the countdown until drift initiation. “Good thing you guys thought to skip on upgrading her to a digital power source.”

 

Bucky lets out a chuckle. “We were mostly tryna cut costs if I’m being honest.”

 

Sam feels like he’s being ripped backwards by the nape of his neck. He never can get used to that feeling. The memories are more blurred this time as both of them seem to do a good job of letting each one come and go. There are flashes of Sam’s childhood. Raising his hand in class and sticking up for his friends on the playground. There are more images of the scrawny blonde kid from Bucky’s previous memories. In one particularly warm memory, he and Bucky share a couple of lukewarm beers and laughter. It ends with him leaning in for a kiss. Sam makes a note to ask him about the guy as their connection stabilizes. 

 

“Solar Zero, status report?” Maria’s voice is tentative.

 

Sam reaches forward to activate the comms, “We’re good.”

 

The ground beneath them lurches as the cockpit is lowered onto the Jaeger’s body. As they settle onto the neck of the giant machine below them, the hangar doors slide open with a loud groan. The visibility beyond is poor due to the rain coming down in sheets. 

 

They take the first step out into the water, dark waves ripple out from the Jaeger’s giant metal limbs. She moves quickly through the choppy surf and Sam finds he has to rely on the computerized scanners to detect what lies in the ocean beyond. There are life signs, both the large ones of the two Kaiju, and the smaller ones of the pilots stranded in the fight. 

 

As they come up on the scene, the Kaijus’ attention is quickly upon them. “Here we go.”

 

* * *

 

The fight feels as though it lasts for five minutes, but as Solar docks back in the hangar and Sam checks the mission log, they had been at it for nearly two and a half hours. Even though he wasn’t physically throwing any punches, his limbs still ache and fatigue is slowly setting in. The drift is disconnected and he is alone in his mind once more. He glances over at Bucky who has got sweaty strands of hair plastered to his face and looks like he’s about to pass out. 

 

“You alright?” Sam asks as he untangles himself from his harness. Bucky does the same.

 

“Yeah, fine. Just...really fucking hungry.”

 

Sam laughs and moves to clap a hand to Bucky’s shoulder. “It’s tougher than it looks, right?”

 

“I’ll say,” Bucky mumbles and the two of them make their way to the doors out of the cockpit. As soon as they descend the metal stairs to the main hangar, there’s an eruption of applause. Bright faces surround them, cheering in multiple different languages. It is more than a little overwhelming and Sam suddenly feels trapped.

 

“Alright, alright!” A familiar face booms over the crowd and it splits in order to let Fury through. His expression is solemn, but Sam swears there’s a glitter in his dark eyes. “Well done, Solar Zero.”

 

“Thank you,” Sam replies. For everything, he wants to add because all things considered, his nerves are dancing and he feels more alive than he has in a while. 

 

Fury gives a pep-talk, and Sam only half listens. He switches between avoiding eye contact with the beaming crowd and briefly locking eyes with his copilot. Bucky’s cheeks are flushed, probably from all the excitement and his eyes are wide and shining. They aren’t connected, but Sam thinks he might just know how the guy’s feeling.

 

When Fury winds down, there’s some chatter and applause and Bucky nudges Sam’s shoulder and the two make their way through the exit. Before they can get clear there’s a strong hand on Sam’s shoulder and he turns to come face to face- well face to chest practically- with Thor. The man is grinning from ear to ear with Sif close behind looking at the concrete floor between them. Behind them are the crews for the other Jagers. They smile at the two of them. “We had just wanted to say thank you,” Thor says in his usual booming voice. “Without your aid we would have surely perished!”

 

“No problem,” Bucky mumbles, giving the guy a small smile.

 

Each crew thanks them and they nod in response until finally, they are free to track down a post-battle snack.

 

* * *

 

Sam’s spoon scrapes against the bottom of his pudding cup as he struggles to get the last bit out. Bucky watches him with an amused expression. “I know there’s a ration and all, but damn,” he laughs.

 

“Chocolate pudding is a luxury from where I came from.”

 

“Ah,” Bucky replies, taking another small sip from the tin mug in front of him. They’re back in Sam’s room with Bucky seated at the desk (with his feet on the floor this time) and Sam sitting cross-legged at the foot of his bed.

 

When Sam finishes his pudding, he holds it in his lap and bites his lower lip before speaking. “Can I ask you something?”

 

Bucky laughs, “What?  _ Now _ you’re getting shy on me?”

 

Sam ignores the joke. “Who’s the guy?”

 

Bucky frowns. “What guy?”

 

“The one in all your memories. Blond one. Real skinny,” Sam answers and Bucky hesitates. “You don’t have to talk about it. I get it.”

 

“No, no.” Bucky waves him off. “You told me about Riley, I guess it’s my turn to talk.” He looks up, his expression is broken in a way that tugs at Sam’s heart. Bucky inhales deeply before he begins. “His name was Steve. Met when we were kids. Practically grew up together. He was my first crush. My first kiss.”

 

“That’s real sweet,” Sam says sincerely.

 

Bucky laughs, it’s a hollow sound. “He’s dead. Died too young. He had- health problems. I’m not a fucking doctor, but I know it was pretty bad. And then the rationing started, and well-” Bucky swallowed. “-He couldn’t get the stuff he needed and he passed.”

 

“I’m so sorry.” Sam instinctively puts a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. There are crystalline tears pooling in Bucky’s eyes and he does not move to brush Sam’s hand away.

 

“Thanks.” Bucky sighs. “It was a while ago. But, it hurts.”

 

“That kinda hurt doesn’t go away. It may get easier to deal with. But we carry that shit for the rest of our lives.”

 

The corner of Bucky’s mouth quirks up and he nods. “Amen.” He claps a hand over Sam’s and gives it a little squeeze. “I need to go hit the hay before I pass out at your desk.”

 

Sam squeezes Bucky’s shoulder. He almost hates for him to leave like this. “Alright. See ya in the morning.” Their hands fall away and Bucky stands and stretches. Sam watches his cotton t-shirt ride up, exposing a little strip of skin above the waistband of his sweatpants.

 

“Hopefully not too early. I deserve to sleep in after today.”

 

Sam tears his eyes away and laughs. He sees Bucky out and locks the door behind him. As he gets ready for bed he can’t shake the feeling of closeness he has to the other man, even with the distance between them now. And to think, they had been at each other’s throats just a few days ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [hmu on tumblr](http://theouterrimjob.tumblr.com)
> 
> Yeah, I would like to apologize, I wasn't feeling like narrating the Jaeger/Kaiju shenanigans but I figured you all were more here for the SamBucky so I tried to keep that central. Also, apparently there was a fanfic poll and Pacific Rim AUs are pretty disliked in fandom so I'd like to thank everyone for reading and for suggesting this fic. I'm having a ball writing it and I hope you all are enjoying reading it!!


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